Oh, Redrhodie,
I echo the wisdom of others - let it be. I stepped away from cycling for about 15 years and as soon as I got back into it, I wondered why in the heck I could have stayed away so long. I hope this is not the path you go down, but if you're not having fun it's time for a break. Friends help a lot in continuing mojo, and I sure hope you have some good cycling buddies. As far as getting "almost good" at something and then letting it go, and wondering how many things you'll be mediocre at - please let that go as well and don't beat yourself up. We are who we are and we're continually changing and evolving. We're great!