Saying nothing, not doing much is abit difficult

[malkin]

Maybe your friend is also biting her tongue, secretly wishing that you would make food choices that would give you a more substantial body weight like hers!

[DebSP]

There are people that watch and judge everything. I went through a period where I was "eating clean" and if I attended a function with food that did not offer anything I wanted to eat, some people would make comments about the fact that I chose not to eat anything. "Oh you can afford to eat a few treats" was the most common. Not because I was thin, but I may have been thinner than some people attending(I have not been thin in my adult life) Short of telling the whole life story about working hard to lose about 40 lbs. and being a garbage eater most of my life and how I was working at changing that etc. I got eye rolls, and "oh it won't hurt you' etc.etc. I hated having to defend my choices so I can understand how anyone would feel when comments are made that imply a judgment of any kind. And I never criticized the foods offered. Or told anyone that they were making a mistake eating them. I usually just tried to politely refuse. No thanks, I just ate or some such thing if I could. (Hard to do while dh is making himself a plate.) Best to always keep your thoughts to yourself unless asked specifically, even when intentions are good. Believe me I have a mothering personality. I had a mom who passed away to early from heart disease and my dad had a stroke in his 60 's. I would like to think that I could help some one avoid that but I know how hard it is to change habits. I quit smoking completely only recently. But you know the saying " the road to he!! is paved with good intentions".

[rebeccaC]

There are people that watch and judge everything. .

I think judging is a tendency we all have, but I think understanding and aknowledging when we do it and seeing it as possibly harmful to us is also important. The anger, frustration, complaining, gossiping and/or dismissiveness etc. that can come from judging others certainly won’t make me a better person. I try to go to a place of acceptance, curiosity and empathy in helping someone rather than where I go when judging them.

I fail. I can feel bad, untrusting of myself and comfort myself with a quart of chocolate ice cream at times. So I’m not superior to others having problems even if I think I am. I see it as me just being self centered when focusing on how much better I am than someone else or how my frustration is more important than someone’s pain, depression, health problems etc.

[malkin]

Congratulations on quitting smoking!

I'm sorry. My post wasn't clear at all. I meant to indicate that I was surprised that anyone would think there was anything bad about cheese and fruit, not that I was shocked that someone would eat and enjoy it.
I MEANT: Cheese and fruit, what's wrong with that?
I DID NOT MEAN: Cheese and fruit! OMG!! How could you possibly even consider eating that?!

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with cheese and fruit, unless a person is lactose intolerant, or allergic to strawberries, or just doesn't like cheese and fruit or something like that.

[OakLeaf]

No, I knew exactly what you meant. Sorry if my post came out wrong!

[thekarens]

Congratulations on quitting smoking!

I'm sorry. My post wasn't clear at all. I meant to indicate that I was surprised that anyone would think there was anything bad about cheese and fruit, not that I was shocked that someone would eat and enjoy it.
I MEANT: Cheese and fruit, what's wrong with that?
I DID NOT MEAN: Cheese and fruit! OMG!! How could you possibly even consider eating that?!

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with cheese and fruit, unless a person is lactose intolerant, or allergic to strawberries, or just doesn't like cheese and fruit or something like that.

Actually cheese and fruit can be bad. Fruit is high in sugar and cheese can be high in calories. I know the doctor told my neighbor to stop giving her kids fruit or limit it due to weight problems.

Ideally a diet would be high in veggies greens and whole grains and moderate in fruit meat and dairy.

And no, I'm not judging because Lord knows I have no room to talk.

[Crankin]

I've had experiences similar to DebSP's. People seem to think it's quite ok to comment when I choose not to eat cake or candy at work or when I eat a food that might be considered "different." It doesn't happen where I work now, and they don't make comments either, when I walk in wearing my bike clothes. Only praise.
I guess what I don't get, is how people think it's ok to *say* something in these situations. I always told my kids, "You can think it, don't say it."

[Aromig]

I meant the cheese more than fruit, because let's face it, if you're indulging, who is happy with the serving size of just one ounce. More like having three or 4 different cheeses at one ounce each. from another funny judgmental perspective, on the times I've taken my assistant out she will be judgmental about that same fruit and cheese tray -- but because its very expensive (not because of its dietary makeup). But I guess the point is taken -- there are lots of things to be judgmental about (including towards thin people) so maybe its best just to keep our comments to ourselves. Wouldn't the world be so much better! (FYI, that's the conversation I had with my 13 year old yesterday at lunch. Too bad more mothers don't have that conversation).

[lph]

Since detox diets were mentioned: I may be opening a can of worms here, but I have to mention that the only thing I've ever read about detox diets, by sources not about to make money on them, is that they don't work. There is no measurable difference in toxins in the bodywork after a week long fast or detox diet. That's not to say a healthy diet won't gradually give you less toxins, but there's no way of jump starting the process. At best it has a psychological effect, as a transition to a better diet.

[lph]

Body, not bodywork B-)