Thread Drift

[Pax]

Thanks, Emily. It is such a strange place to be, to me mom is still alive in my head. A life seems to come done to "stuff"; stuff means little to me, I don't want her silver place settings, I want the fun pic of her goofing off at the beach or the pic of her smooching dad while he's messing around wearing a friends bikini after they've all had a little too much. Stuff means nothing, the memories are everything.

[Crankin]

Well, I was kind of the opposite. My mom died young (67), in a family where everyone lives to their 90s. I enjoyed picking out "stuff" to keep, and I love using it, too. In fact, the night after her funeral, my brother and I sat down with her jewelry box and laid it all out and divided it up. I really wanted certain pieces, because I knew he would probably end up selling it, but we were very even handed about it. We sat on my bedroom floor and laughed a lot. I wear her stuff all of the time. She gave me a lot of her big silver pieces and other things for the house many years ago, in the 80s. She wanted to see me using them, and she did. I am so glad when I take that stuff out on holidays, as it reminds me of happy childhood times. My dad sent me a huge box of some of her clothes, which I wore for years after. Of course, she was so petite, that a lot didn't fit me.
She would not want me (or anyone) to be sad. I have good memories and I leave it at that.

[emily_in_nc]

I can certainly see it both ways, Pax and Crankin. My practical side says "sell it all" because I am trying to live a very low-clutter existence and agree that stuff is just stuff and really shouldn't matter. But my sentimental side will certainly kick in when the time comes, and I am sure I will want more of the "stuff" of our family's history because of the memories attached to it. Also, some of it is truly beautiful - antiques and such, and some nice jewelry. Harder will be all the kitchen things I don't really need but love. Mexican glassware, delicate crystal...it's going to be hard. Fortunately, my mom wears a much larger size than me, so clothes will not be tempting. But it's not going to be easy, and I dread it so. My mom is 79 and in great health for her age, but no one lives forever.

[redrhodie]

My oldest brother died this week. I didn't know him very well. We were half siblings, and he was 20 years older than me. He had leukemia. He was a Vietnam Veteran, a career Marine, with all the baggage that goes with that.

My earliest memory of him is meeting him for the first time when I was a toddler and he was home on leave. I remember craning my neck all the way back to see him because he was so tall. He and I hit it off right away. He was handsome, charming and funny. He was a good brother to me. Just too many years between us, and too many miles.

He asked me if I would donate bone marrow, and I would have, but never received the kit from the hospital. I don't know if they just didn't bother testing me because we weren't full siblings, but I would have done it for him. In the end, it was a moot point since he ended up having other health issues that made him ineligible for transplant.

In his honor I will be donating blood regularly. I wish I could have helped him.

[OakLeaf]

(((((Red))))) I'm so sorry.

[Catrin]

{{{{{Red}}}} So sorry to read this and your first memory of him is so sweet! Sending warm thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

[malkin]

(((red)))