In-Law Woes

[Crankin]

Don't answer the phone?
You won't change them. Call back, if you do, when you want.
Hey, mine only called to tell us what to do . My FIL was a terrible person, with untreated mental health issues and an abuser when DH was young. MIL was better after he died, but by then, she was already not herself from medical issues. It all could have been avoided if she had had help (which she refused) when he got sick. They were both young-ish when they died, and I can't say that DH was sad. Some people think this is very cold, but some people just shouldn't be parents, especially parents of 4 kids. He was much closer to my family.

[lph]

How about answering "Sorry, I don't have time to fix this over the phone, but how about you invite us to dinner and I'll look at your computer then?"

I have a super-helpful computer-techy dh too... But he's getting better at asking for help himself for other things, and making a point about how it's great to "trade knowledge". Or asking if they've already called support (they never have, but at least it plants the idea that it's possible).

[tulip]

+1 for just don't answer the phone. You can't change people, but you can decide how to react to them.

[Wasp]

Lopsided relationships with family sucks. We only hear from my brother-in-law and or his wife when they want something from us or need us to do something for them. We call them back now only when we have the time. We tried not calling them back at all, but then they complained to the in-laws and we didn't want to cause the in-laws any grief as they are now in there 80's, so we went back to answering the phone......but not every time they call.

[Blueberry]

So much sympathy! To echo what others have said, we make judicious use of call screening. It has done wonders for our sanity!!

[Pax]

+1 for just don't answer the phone. You can't change people, but you can decide how to react to them.

Yup. I stopped answering my phone the day mom died, if anyone wants to reach me they can leave a message or send me a text, I get back to them when I'm ready to. It took friends and family a few days to adjust, but now if they are calling to get together or do something, they know to do it in advance. It is VERY freeing to have walked away from that electronic ball and chain.