Thread Drift

[Crankin]

I read the whole thing. I agree with all of it.
Basically, modern parents let too much of their self worth get tied up with their kids. Then, when the kids start to go through the normal separation stage in adolescence, they freak out.
I was very lucky. Both of my kids had their moments, but no one ever was brought home by the police. And hey, my older son's HS yearbook stated that their class favorite car was "the back of an Acton Police SUV."
I fully expected them to want more freedom as they got older, and used the model my parents used. As long as I see decent (not perfect) behavior, then I will give you the same privileges I had. Thus, my kids were going into the city on their own at age 14-15, and we let them stay by themselves at home for a weekend when we went to NYC when my older son was able to drive (the neighbors, though were put on watch for cars in front of the house). But, my kids both had jobs from age 14 on, after 2-3 years of babysitting. Horrors, they had to work! One had cycling to keep him out of trouble and the other had music. Like I said, it wasn't perfect, but the key was both DH and I had our own lives. Work, interests, and going out socially without the kids almost every week of our married life.

[marni]

totally agree with you. Fortunately none of mine ever saw the back of the Acton police cruiser. If they had they would have been grounded for life minus all privileges. As you say, all three of them worked from 14 on, first babysitting, gardening, snow shoveling, yard work, housework etc for me and for neighbors and then when they were old enough, as baggers at Roche brothers and or kitchen work at the Pizza hut. They were all in the Acton HS band and thus had a great adult support community, and all three were scouts. We were truly lucky to live where we lived, when we did. I have no idea how parents do it today between the internet and the drugs and the drink. But then my primary job was to raise them with the help and support of my husband. Their job was to go to school, get the grades and make a positive contribution to the family.

I figure the fact that we both worked and had our own solitary and group pursuits must have mad it easier for them to follow the same general route.

All that not withstanding we came on on the lucky side because just because you do everything right as you perceive it doesn't always mean that it works out that way.

[crazycanuckoz]

...i think the cold temps we experienced Chicago have affected my brain..i've signed up for an ultra in june... ....

My Canuck friends told me i'm a wimp as i found -15c a bit cold along with the #*#**# snow over two days.....Yup, give me +30C..

[shootingstar]

CCanuckoz, you must be gettin' "soft". Weren't you originally an Albertan resident long ago before Aussieland?

We've had -5 degrees C to 8 degrees C lately. However yes, we've had some -25 to -31 degrees C in past few weeks with snow, etc.

[OakLeaf]

Ha, CC! What's the distance? Have fun with your training!

[skhill]

A sure sign of my neighborhood's ongoing hipsterfication: while standing in line at the neighborhood hip donut shop getting dragged in to a heated discussion of which of the 3 very local microbreweries is best.

(It depends on your taste in beer, of course. Extreme hops? Ale? Lager? Weird flavor combinations?)

[Crankin]

I am in a workshop and I cannot wait to get out of here. And, sorry to say, the topic is yoga and mindfulness in therapy. I use this stuff all of the time, but I am going on no sleep! I've had insomnia all related to my job change. Just going through that feel stupid stage. Not around the clients, just learning new procedures with paperwork and technology.
I need to lie down and I have a 50 minute drive home.