Need Interpretation of Male Cyclists' Body Language

[Crankin]

OK, Darcy, disclosure, I'm not single, but I do ride with a group that's mostly 50s and up, and I get a pretty good idea of current relationship trends in my line of work (I'm a therapist).
Believe me, it's natural and probably better to find dating interests through shared interests such as cycling, as opposed to elsewhere. It sounds like #1 was jealous, whereas #2 just wanted to ride? Most of my rides are pretty social, too, even the ones with lots of guys. But, it's the nature of the group I ride with. Even the "faster" group (almost all guys) participates in the lunches and parties. They always encourage me to ride with them, and they'll stick by me if I do. We have a set average for both the regular and faster group, so it's definitely not all about the stats, it's about the fun, though it can be a little competitive. That said, I would not feel guilty or annoyed that you were "wooed." Everyone mourns differently, and wanting a relationship is perfectly normal, if you want it. I say this, because now you find you actually enjoy spending time with guy #1 and there's no reason you shouldn't.
And don't listen others on this, listen to yourself. Many years ago, when I was in my mid thirties, a friend of ours died in a gruesome way. His wife, my friend, started dating fairly soon after this. The gossips were clucking. They really didn't know the whole story, but even without that, she did what she felt was best. And, 25+ years later, she is happy and fine. I know that personally, if my DH died, I would not want to be alone forever.

[OakLeaf]

+1 on listening to yourself. Everyone does grieve differently, and decides differently when they want a new relationship.

A friend of mine was widowed just over a year ago, and she's in a new serious relationship, and her FB posts are full of her adventures with her new beau - yet she still sometimes posts about how much she misses her first husband, and just observed the anniversary of his death. Meanwhile, my mom, who was widowed probably about the same time as you, is very conflicted ... she went to a singles group and met someone who was interested in her, and they've been on a couple of outings, but she can't bring herself to think of them as "dates," and she's been up-front with the guy that she's not ready to think about a relationship yet. In both of those cases - and it sounds like in yours too - if the other party understands that you're still finding your way through your grief and is willing to give you the time and understanding you need with that - do whatever makes you happy.