Need Interpretation of Male Cyclists' Body Language

[DarcyInOregon]

I am a widow. I was married for 35 years. I am 60 years old. I am an active cyclist with several different groups, a Team Captain, a volunteer Ride Assist and a volunteer for one of the charity ride events. I rode over 4500 miles this year.

I’ve had rides with two different single males recently, one whom I met on a group ride back in May, and the second whom I met on a group ride recently. I am referring to rides that are just the male cyclist and I. The males are both in my age range. I know the first male, have ridden a lot with him in groups or just him and I, but just bike rides and nothing else; I am just getting to know the second male.

Both males have used the same body language that has left me confused and puzzled, because in all of my years of cycling, no male has done this around me before. The male is facing me and chatting, once at the end of a ride, the other time at a rest stop. He slings his right leg over the top bar of his bike, and while still facing me, his right leg is jerking up and down rapidly, and sometimes with a wig-wagging right and left motion, the torso is twitching, and the neck is swiveling back and forth. It displays to me as very nervous agitated behavior and I don’t know why. I am calm and relaxed, and I can’t figure out why the male gets so nervous. The first male, he was chatting and saying some confusing things that I didn't quite understand. The second male, we were chatting however the conversation made sense.

Can somebody give me a rational explanation?

[malkin]

I don't know if this response is rational, but I just read your post to my husband who said, "That's creepy."

[rebeccaC]

attention to a cramp in the calf/foot etc.??…..needing a restroom? I'd just ask if they were okay and see how they responded.

[thekarens]

I often bounce my foot even when I'm in a relaxed setting and it's usually because I'm restless and/or anxious. It has nothing to do with the other person. It's just the way I am sometimes.

[DarcyInOregon]

No, I don't think it is a need for a restroom. Most male cyclists are comfortable about announcing this need. And it didn't have anything to do with a cramp because the head was swiveling and the torso was twitching too, all while facing me and talking to me.

I always have good body language, comfortable and relaxed. I don't understand why two different single males of the same age exhibited nervous behavior while talking to me. It just doesn't make any sense. The first time I dismissed it as odd. But when I got the exact same behavior from a second male, I started to think about it and realized I have no idea what it means. In all of my years of cycling, I've never had a male swing their right leg over the frame of their bike while talking to me. Then with the rapid movement of the right leg, the neck swiveling and the torso twitching, it was a lot to take in while facing someone and engaging in conversation.

Maybe it is creepy. I don't know.

[OakLeaf]

Restless leg syndrome? My husband doesn't ride, so I can't directly compare, but he's always bouncing or twitching some body part? I have to restrain him at the movies so he doesn't disturb other watchers - he is completely unaware of it. He will literally kick me out of bed at night. Maybe it's something like that.

[Crankin]

This is weird.
And, I can't think of any rational explanation. I ride with lots of guys in this demographic and I have never seen it. My DH sometimes dismounts by swinging his leg over the bar, but there's no twitching or head shaking involved.
Maybe they like you so much, it's making them shake .

[lph]

Well, I'd behave like that if someone stopped to chat with me right before a race or some other event I was physically very prepared for and focussed on. It's not so much being nervous as feeling raring to go, but then feeling "delayed" or thwarted in some way. I don't think someone else being calm would help, rather the opposite, that someone who mirrored my behaviour would smooth it out a bit.

I have no idea of why they would behave like that around you in that situation, though. No particular reason it should be "male" behaviour. I guess you're the only one who would know if there's a reason for them to be nervous or worked up. It could be positive tension, too.

[shootingstar]

I guess one could read into this. But yes, some cyclists have habits if they are excited in an anticipatory way for the bike ride itself --then everyone else around them is a little secondary.

[DarcyInOregon]

Both males ride slower than I do, if this information helps. I have to stay out of my big chain ring and ride only in my small chain ring. I take the lead a lot and pull. The first guy, my first ride with him was a group ride that he joined, a ride I had put together, and he was able to get up to 19 mph by sticking in the paceline, back in position 6, couldn't sustain it for more than a few miles, but he has been trying to bike with me regularly ever since. His second ride with me was three of us, and I pulled for a 5-mile stretch where he achieved 23 mph in position three and he tells everyone how it was the best bike ride of his life every chance he gets.

I was married for 35 years and know nothing about single males. I've only been widowed for 16 months and I only recently came out of my deep grieving period. I got to thinking maybe the nervous body language has something to do with the bike dudes being single and a decade or more out from being with a female. Otherwise I don't have a clue.

[OakLeaf]

Darcy ... I just put your time frame together with the date of your last post before this thread.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband - but I'm glad you're starting to find some happiness again - welcome back to TE.

[Catrin]

Oh Darcy, I didn't know about your loss, I am very sorry. I've no idea what the body language meant from the two men but wanted to give you my sympathies.

[Irulan]

I can't help wondering does it really matter? Seems to me like a waste of mental energy to try and puzzle it out if it wasn't obvious

[DarcyInOregon]

Catrin and Oakleaf, thank you for your kind comments. Irulan, I think I am trying to puzzle it out because I am so new to being single. I just don't understand any of it. Like Bike Dude #1, the fellow I've been biking with since the end of May, we are not dating or anything. Heck, I only came out of mourning about two months ago. But yet Bike Dude #1 is always calling me, emailing me and texting me. Today is Christmas Day and I got over 12 texts from this fellow, long-winded texts too, starting with wishing me a Merry Christmas to begging me to ride with him this weekend to a discussion about late harvest wine, and all while I was at a friend's house. Guess I am more curious if their body language has anything to do with being single or if all male cyclists do this, even though I never observed it until biking with these single guys, and if it ties in somehow with all of this communication, at least with respect to Bike Dude #1.

[Crankin]

Ah, dating is not defined the same way it was when you and I were in our teens and twenties. Bike Dude #1 likes you. And, he may even think (in his mind) that you are dating, by modern standards.
This still doesn't explain the body language, and as Irulan said, it's probably not worth trying to figure it out. Personally, I would enjoy the attention, unless, of course, you really don't want it (like the 12 texts). You need to set boundaries if you don't want him doing stuff like that. You're in charge!