Teenagers and sleepovers

[thekarens]

I probably wouldn't allow it until they had graduated high school or at least until they were both 18. Partly because of legal issues.

I only have boys so it's hard to say how I'd feel if I had girls.

[lph]

Thanks, both!
thekarens - what are the legal issues? The age of consent here is 16, is it different where you live?

Crankin, would you feel any differently about someone not a serious girlfriend?

It's a tricky subject to tackle. Things have changed since I was a teenager.

[ACG]

I have daughters 30, 23 and 11.

No opposite sex sleepovers as teenagers. Legalities? Not sure by liabilities maybe. Why risk it? If in doubt, say no. Serious girlfriend boyfriend, not a good enough reason to me.
My eldest never ever asked. My second didn't ask until recently, like last year.

The youngest, well, the answer is still no.

[Wahine]

I'm not a parent and my parents whould have passed out if I asked for a opposite gender sleep-over. But I was a step Mom and my ex-husband had two kids, 11 y/o girl and 14 y/o boy when we first met so I got to go through the teenage years with them. My Ex was a developmental psychologist and his philosophy was teaching the children about safe sex at a young age, open communication and helping them be safe. His position was that statistically speaking the majority of teens are sexually active by the age of 16 whether you want them to be or not and you can either be an ally and help them stay safe or they are just going to do it anyway without your input. Having said that, neither of them asked for opposite sex sleep-overs until they were at least 18 years old. Then they didn't really ask, because it just wasn't really a big deal.

[lph]

His position was that statistically speaking the majority of teens are sexually active by the age of 16 whether you want them to be or not and you can either be an ally and help them stay safe or they are just going to do it anyway without your input.

I think he's probably quite right. A sleepover can of course also be just that, an occasion to sleep over and chat. But I'm a little concerned that it could also be felt as some kind of pressure or implicit encouragement to move things along. I know that as a teenager myself I was anxious to show how mature I "really" was, at an age when I was nothing of the sort.

[TrekDianna]

As a lesbian, opposite sex sleepovers would have been no big deal for my parents to handle

[Irulan]

Thanks, both!
thekarens - what are the legal issues? The age of consent here is 16, is it different where you live?

Crankin, would you feel any differently about someone not a serious girlfriend?

It's a tricky subject to tackle. Things have changed since I was a teenager.

The age of consent varies from state to state in the US.