Host- guest customs

[shootingstar]

I had counselling (related to personal matters plus choice of studies) during my 2nd yr. in university and for certain, it helped me ...for life. That's how important it was for myself --it helped me become stronger and more self-aware.

Both of these 2 guys now engineers, did affirm it was tough for them with a heavy workload in undergrad. years. My partner was one of the quieter guys at that time, he wasn't your frat boy: he was also holding down a part-time job close to home (because his parents were poor and he did not have scholarship himself) and lived 50 km. away from university, as a full time student.

[Melalvai]

A few weeks ago she did take advantage of the campus counseling services. I was so impressed because she did that pretty independently, only asking me about the mechanics of it (ie, was insurance involved--no). She goes to Rolla, and they are up front that the first year is to weed them out. She got involved with the rock climbing club for a while, but when all the other women dropped out, she wasn't comfortable being the only female so she dropped that too. She is in band, which proved to be less socially rewarding than we anticipated. Her new roommate has a lot more in common with her, and a couple others have taken her under their wing, so things did get better in November.

She's not going to flunk anything, but I will not be surprised if she loses scholarships. But maybe not; her courses next semester seem more reasonable-- maybe-- math is her strength but she'll be in Calc II, which has taken down many strong souls!

[OakLeaf]

Well, there is something I do know something about. Because I've forgotten every single thing I learned in multivariate calculus, except one: few, if any, human beings can imagine what something looks like in seven dimensions. I vividly remember the engineering students struggling, because they were trying to visualize the problems, as I sailed through it with my very abstract thinking. If she thinks of calculus as more akin to poetry than to physics, I think she'll find it much easier.

[GLC1968]

If she is musical (you mentioned band as one of her activities, right?), she may find Calc II a lot easier than most engineers do!

I, too lived in the world of men...both in school and then in my career (up until recently) as an EE. It is an adjustment for sure, but one that once you make it, can serve you well in your career for many years to come. Socially, it's really a challenge (even as an adult), so I feel for the women who do this as traditional age students. I didn't find my math/science calling until I was almost 30, so it was quite a bit different for me than it would be for an 18 year old!

Something she should keep in mind - with very few exceptions, all of the women engineers I know have done very well in their careers. Some stayed on the technical side and many went on to do other things with their engineering degrees, but both groups have been very successful. I don't know if it's a testament to the type of personality a woman would have to choose engineering in the first place or if is related to learning to survive in a male-dominated field...but the women who stick it out, do well. That said, many don't stick it out. Of all the people I know who dropped out of the engineering school for some other major - more than 1/2 of them were women. And I wasn't even at a particularly tough school, either!

That said, her boyfriend's parents sound like crazy people and I think she is very, very lucky to have a mom like you!