Host- guest customs

[Veronica]

It drives me crazy when my in laws come to stay and my MIL wants to help with chores. It's extra work to tell her what to do. I finally offered that she could scoop the cat box. She declined. I do think it's weird that they asked her to clean the bathroom - unless she was the only one using it. That's just too personal of a place.

Veronica

[Melalvai]

She wrote out a very sincere apology last night & sent it to her boyfriend to deliver to his parents this morning. Mom rejected it and said "she can apologize to me in person". So she was going to call-- but I said carefully "I'm worried it might escalate. It might be better to wait a few days until you've both calmed down." To my astonishment, she listened to me, and decided to wait.

For being so young, and for starting out as a high school romance, they are very serious about each other. I was predicting (quietly) that it wouldn't last being apart in college, but they are still very much in love. Given that both sets of parents met & married young, and we're both coming up on 20+ yr anniversaries, well, I wouldn't want to make any predictions for them now. Therefore, these very well could be in-laws. I hope this is just a phase, that they're having trouble to adjusting to the new reality of their son as an adult, and that it won't be contentious for decades to come.

Thanks for the support. This sort of thing always sucks to deal with, but I hadn't given much thought to having to watch HER deal with it. Mama Bear wants to defend the cub.

[Blueberry]

She wrote out a very sincere apology last night & sent it to her boyfriend to deliver to his parents this morning. Mom rejected it and said "she can apologize to me in person". So she was going to call-- but I said carefully "I'm worried it might escalate. It might be better to wait a few days until you've both calmed down." To my astonishment, she listened to me, and decided to wait.

I think this says it all. Who rejects a thank you note out of hand? Good luck dealing with this. I agree that their approach seems over-bearing - but this is just too much!

[Veronica]

That's not a very mature response from his mother. I've always thought a written apology was worth more than a spoken one. If I had a dollar for every time a student said "I'm sorry," without really meaning it, I could probably buy another new mountain bike. His mother should not be treating your daughter like a child, but maybe she's still figuring the relationship out.

Veronica