Dear So and So

[Crankin]

I have a pragmatic attitude toward this, Emily. DH used to get upset, but doesn't anymore. At least not like he used to. We chose to move here rather impulsively. We had never owned a house more than 10 years old. This house was about 25 when we bought it; we were enamored of the uniqueness of a contemporary home in this area (which fits us much better, actually. I cannot stand traditional style furniture) and the neighborhood itself, with a community pond. We knew we would do the remodel when we moved in and it was fine. Everything was done on time and no catastrophes. The only catastrophe was the first roof we put on; 2 years later we had 20 inches of snow on the roof, ice dams, and water pouring in the kitchen and dining room. The house has unusual roof lines and we needed a real expert to figure out how to stop this. I could not imagine living in an apartment at this stage of my life, or maybe ever. We eventually will move to a townhome or condo, if we can find one that meets our requirements, which is hard in this area. I am not ready to get rid of all of my sports stuff, in 4-5 years. We don't want to move to the city, either. We may expand our search to a few other surrounding towns, but we also might end up just buying a smaller house and contract out all of the outside work; we don't have a lawn now, which was a requirement, after the last house, but we do have landscaping. I hate gardening, DH likes it, though. DH is hesitant about sharing any walls with neighbors.
We know we won't ever be snowbirds, as we like winter sports too much. I wouldn't be adverse to a longer trip back to AZ in the winter, but no second home there. We've actually thought of buying 2 smaller places, one around here, and one out in the Berkshires, which is really a 4 season sport/cultural place, still in Massachusetts (although people from NYC seem to think otherwise!). And none of this has affected our ability to ride or do other stuff. We've always had people do our outdoor yard work, until we moved here. My motto is to outsource everything, if you can afford it.
I just am not that enamored of any of the home "planning" things, whether it be a major remodel or a small thing, the way some women get crazy about "design." I've become more participatory in the past few years, as I've ended up with things I don't like due my own laziness over this stuff. I think this started out as a "I hate womanly things" kind of rant when I was a young married person, and I was more than happy to let DH handle it all, as he *knew* about window treatments and such when he was 23 . I'll never forget when the woman came to our second home with the "book" of window treatments after we moved in. When I said "Oh, you're here to see my husband," she truly did not know what to say. I was 8 months pregnant and more worried about starting the new school year and being about to give birth in the same time frame!