I'm not a parent, so clue me in

[PamNY]

I have a feeling there's more to this story -- a single adult guest isn't that much trouble.

In some ways, I'd think hosting company is easier for parents because they have a regular schedule, they must prepare meals, probably have a full fridge, etc. I always have to go out and buy food when I have company because I don't keep much in the house.

Is there literally not enough room for someone to sleep? Can you sleep on the couch? Have there been problems in the past?

[OakLeaf]

I have a feeling there's more to this story

+1

There have definitely been times when my family of origin's particular brand of crazy was way more than I could deal with at a time when I felt I needed to be nearby, and so I've tried to be polite about staying in a hotel. Other times I've felt strong enough to stay with them. Same thing on my husband's side of the family. Shootingstar, if you can't deal with your sister's household 24 hours a day for however long you're planning on being in the neighborhood, then tell her so as nicely as you can. But I can't see what it has to do with who's a parent and who isn't, IMO.

[limewave]

+1

There have definitely been times when my family of origin's particular brand of crazy was way more than I could deal with at a time when I felt I needed to be nearby, and so I've tried to be polite about staying in a hotel. Other times I've felt strong enough to stay with them. Same thing on my husband's side of the family. Shootingstar, if you can't deal with your sister's household 24 hours a day for however long you're planning on being in the neighborhood, then tell her so as nicely as you can. But I can't see what it has to do with who's a parent and who isn't, IMO.

I don't think this is a 'parent of young children' issue but rather a personal/family issue. As a parent of young children--I'd much prefer visiting guests to stay somewhere else so as not to disrupt the already frazzled schedule. But, that is just me. I know others that would be personally offended if a guest chose not to stay in there home. This is all personal boundaries stuff. I have my own personal boundaries--and I tend to stick pretty closely to them. I had a friend that requested to stay at our home for a few days. Again, I prefer that they didn't. But, this was a good friend and she was in need--so I bent my boundaries a bit for her. But that was my decision and I didn't feel in any way bullied or guilted into it. . . . My 2 cents.

[tulip]

When I visit my family with children, I stay in a hotel by choice. I have no desire to engage in family chaos.

[shootingstar]

Thanks Limewave..and everyone else.

I'm overthinking/worrying too much. "Problem" of not seeing family often when they live far away, there's always good intentions for both parties to make the visit worthwhile/memorable and good for everyone. Like special times for Thxgiving, etc.

[PamNY]

I loved having my aunts and uncles visit when I was a child (and I loved visiting them). Granted, the 1950s were a different time -- most mothers didn't work outside the home, and children had fewer obligations after school. Also, although no one had a great deal of money, in my family everyone had enough room for guests.

I've often stayed with friends who had small children -- and I don't recall being bothered by (or even aware of) chaos. If there is abuse or similar, of course, that's a different matter. But normal children and parents are often fun and interesting -- at least most of the time!

Would it help for you to focus on the positives? Getting to know the children, for example?

[malkin]

I don't really understand the problem.
Do you not want to stay there? Or do you not understand why they invited you?

I'm pretty much okay sleeping anywhere with whatever level of chaos or lack of privacy, for a night or two anyway. If you'd rather stay at a hotel, just stay at a hotel.