Our very own humiliation/embarassment thread

[Polly]

My mate Debs and I were cycling very slowly around a forest trail in a place called Thetford in England - possibly the flattest, least technical mtb centre you could imagine... when I have to cycle through a mudddy puddle, and I fall in. Typical.

the following explanation I initially wrote to amuse my friends, who are always keen to hear of my latest disaster, perhaps a little too keen! I decided to tell it as it should have been... not sure how the humour might translate... but here goes! (oh I should point out the 'beast' is a section of singletrack with a few bumps in it!)

"…Racing along the fire road Polly looks around; there’s no one to be seen, she’s alone, just her and the sun bleached stumps which broken and abandoned scatter the barren landscape. She turns again, catching a glimpse as she does of her sidekick; Die-hard Debs. She is relieved but not surprised that Debs too has made it past the snarling beast…

Far from relaxing, Polly doesn’t let her concentration waver, her toned body suddenly tenses, her perfectly manicured fingers hover over her brake levers… the landscape has changed. No longer is the sky visible above her head, she has been plunged into darkness – a strange unearthly twilight, silent and menacing. Struggling to decipher the curves of the route ahead, Polly carefully picks her way through the dense undergrowth of the tree strewn singletrack, twisting, turning, all the time anxious not to scrub off too much speed… but it is then that she sees it. Ahead; its outline barely visible in the murky distance… The puddle of Gloom!

All too soon the puddle is upon her, a vast expanse of sticky gloop… its depth unfathomable, its effects potentially devastating. As she approaches this brown oozing mass, she can see the surface begin to tremble… Polly can only wonder what lies beneath. Which line should she take? Left? Right? Left…the decision irrelevant, Polly’s fate is sealed.

As our heroine races past the edge of the danger, a long slimy tentacle springs out and winds itself around her rear hub. One sharp tug and the back wheel of Polly’s bike is dragged into the mire, the Chris King hubs screaming with anger. Polly bravely tries to throw herself from her steed, to avoid a muddy fate worse than death. As she crashes to the ground she is aware of her bike spinning round above her, pivoting on her foot. Only her incredible strength saves her and her bike from being sucked under the surface of this terrible quicksand…

As Polly lies at the edge of the menace, clinging stoically to her bike with only one cleat, Die-hard Debs appears… her razor sharp senses immediately assessing the situation. She walks carefully around the Puddle of Gloom, her eyes transfixed. Eventually she speaks …

“Blinkin' 'eck Poll…. What on earth have you done this time? And… how the blazes have you managed to be still clipped into your bike but it facing the other way round?…”


It was very embarrassing, I was covered in mud and unable to move until Debs rescued me, in fact I lay there going "no, no, I'm fine really" as several small children and pensioners cleared the puddle, and offered to help... doh!

[DirtDiva]

A wonderful tale of woe! I think surfing through acres of mud is about the only technical skill I possess.

[Nokomis]

On a ride with the boys, my first season on the road and we've covered 25 miles or so. We stop to take a quick break in farm country at our favorite U shaped driveway. We pull in the far side, coast back to the near side to easily get back on the road. So I am the last one in - coasting, feeling pretty darn cool that I'm able to coast one foot like - slowing, slowing, slowing, Tipping! and slowing! damn! Can't get my foot out, so I fall - so close that I'm afraid I'm going to set off a domino effect catastrophe. Manage not to hit anyone else, but end up on my back, still clipped in, with the bike completely upside down, in the air, and my water bottle starts to drip on me.



Still haven't lived that one down.

[pnkciocc]

I've been lurking but this is so great I have to add my own!!!!

I was about 12 miles into a 30 mile ride on my new bike with the BF on Sunday - we had just stopped and added ice & water to the water bottles so the wb was starting to sweat. We were on a short stretch between stoplights so I reached for a drink - went to put the wb back and dropped it. BF was in front of me so I yelled for him to wait - I unclipped, stopped - caught my shorts on my seat (what is it with this???) - tipped sideways (somehow managing not to fall completley over) just as 2 young guys in a mercedes rolled past. The mercedes guys then pull up to the stoplight and tell the BF I'd dropped my water - I hope they didn't tell him I almost busted.

I'm so glad I didn't completely crash

My other embarrasing moment happened when I was riding years ago - I was riding with a small group of guys downtown on a weekend. We rounded a corner and slowed for traffic. A very large Cadillac pulled up beside us (very very close) - freaked me out and to keep my balance I hit the car with my left hand from front to back as it slowed up beside me... I ran into one of the guys at a race last year and he re-told the story (laughing the entire time) to my BF... I can't believe he remembered after 18 years.

I'm sure there are other stories but I'm choosing not to remember...

[pnkciocc]

end up on my back, still clipped in, with the bike completely upside down, in the air, and my water bottle starts to drip on me.

Don't feel bad... BF did that on our first group ride this year - there were probably 50 people that saw him upside down before he could get unclipped and upright...

[BadgerGirl]

OMG, these stories are really funny. Mine isn't as great, but involves clipless pedals, of course... I was riding home from work at about 2am, enjoying no traffic and the cool air. I came to a major intersection, and saw one lone car in the distance. Instead of busting the light, I thought I would do the right thing and wait for the car and use the pedestrian signal. As i headed to the curb to hit the signal, I kind of forgot to clip out. Didn't even remember. Must have been tired. Anyways, as I was falling to my right, it dawns on me, but it was too late. I just fell over. So I am now laying on my right side, which is the side I normally clip out of, and I can't get my foot out. I am laying there like an upside down turtle...helpless. After a little concentration, I clip out my left foot and quickly scramble upright before someone sees me! Thank goodness it was two in the morning!