Thread Drift

[indysteel]

((Indy))

Today is my last day in Ohio. I don't know how I feel about this.

Thanks Owlie. Hugs to you, too. Leaving what has been one's home--even if an imperfect one--is difficult. Good luck. I hope you settle into Arizona with relative ease. What did you decide to do about moving your bikes?

[OakLeaf]

Today is my last day in Ohio. I don't know how I feel about this.

<waving from across the state>

Hope your move is uneventful and you settle in quickly. And ya know, if you get as homesick as I do when I'm away from Ohio too long ... we'll still be here when you're Dr. Owlie.

[Crankin]

You will love Tucson.

[malkin]

Dr. Owlie has such a professional ring to it!!

[Crankin]

My DIL's father passed away this morning. I know this sounds strange, but I am really proud of my son, for taking on the lion's share of dealing with his short and terrible illness, as well as finding social services for his MIL. Such dysfunction there. They held their boundaries and this woman will not be moving in with them. We haven't seen them since Father's Day because of this, and are looking forward to seeing them this weekend. There isn't going to be any service, so I hope their life can get back to normal.

[indysteel]

Not strange it all, Crankin. I imagine it's very gratifying for a parent to see their adult child handling a difficult situation, well, like an adult. Frankly, I'm often saddened by the parents I know who are either seemingly unconcerned that their adult child are still looking to their parents to handle things for them or who are all too eager to step in and take charge. Maybe it's because my own parents didn't often parent me, but I've taken great pride in my own self-sufficiency and wherewithal.

I'm sorry for your son and DIL's loss though and that it's been a difficult period for them.

[Crankin]

We were asked for advice, mostly on where to look for help (the in laws had no money, etc) for the MIL. This woman did not know how to parent, due to her own horrible upbringing (she was in foster care) and it is amazing my DIL has achieved what she has. DS told me that when DIL was in 5th grade, she had to take a class on "hygiene skills," as no one ever told her she had to brush her teeth daily, among other things. He also once said, "Mom, can you believe a teacher had to tell her mom to read to her?" At that time, I didn't know the whole story, but now it makes sense. DS found a community service agency that is just for residents of Boston, that is going to provide lots of case work assistance. I hope she gets some clinical assistance, too; it's never too late.
We do get asked for advice by both of them, and we give it, but, it's up to them to take it!

[crazycanuckoz]

Owlie, hope your moved went well ..We might be your way in December, more on that a bit later..

We moved countries last year...This is a rather long/odd story...We move to Oman late last year as Ian was transferred with his company. Cool idea as we don't have kids & want to see the Middle East etc. I'm still here in Perth during uni semesters finishing off my degree (thankfully finishing late 2014). I visit my dear as much as uni semester/his work schedule allows...Oman's a laid back place & as a student planner, I love it!

Anywho, for holidays at the end of the year, we've decide to drive as much of the old Route 66 as possible & some side trips(not the ones before the US & after). Any suggestions for things we must see....Urban Planning, History, Sport, Science & Nature are our thing...Not interested in the Grand Canyon as Jebel Shams in Oman will do just fine..)


San Fran-Alcatraz
Titan Missile Museum,
Sixth Floor Museum
Chicago...

Alabama, Mississippi & Georgia...

Will it be hard to eat healthily along the way?

Enjoy the weekend!

[Crankin]

Oy, two weird things on my mind.
Finally saw DS and DIL. Her mother is really worse than could ever be imagined. I am doubly proud of them for telling her she will never live with them. We gave them lots of ideas on how to set boundaries and get her on her own. Thankfully, others are giving some financial help.
Then, after listening to this all day, I got an email from my exDBF from my youth. He was asking for financial/job help, is in the midst of a very horrible divorce, sounds unreal. This email went out to everyone on our class reunion list, which I find creepy. I know he is really desperate, living in the basement of his home until it sells, wife took his phone, car keys, blah, blah. His kids, brother, and mom have been turned against him. He sold a successful business a few years ago and has been consulting, but all of his $ is gone. He lives near DC, so I don't see him, but I do feel badly. I told him to go to Jewish Family Services; hopefully, they can help.
It just feels weird. This is someone who had it all.

[lph]

This has been turning around in my mind recently: do we have different personas on the internet and IRL?

I realize many of you know each other, but I've only briefly met two TE'ers and it's not very likely that I'll meet others, so I'm curious. I'm inclined to think that many of us probably would be perceived differently in person than here on TE, for various reasons. There are very real differences between communicating in writing and in person, for one, we all get a say and we get to think things through, put an opinion into words and write it all down, no matter whether we're shy or assertive, or speak fast or slowly. But writing also means communicating in a series of monologues without all the verbal feedback and cues that drive a spoken conversation. We have to sort of imagine what kind of feedback we would be getting, if we're interested in a dialogue. And the feedback we do get on a written forum doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as it does IRL. Few (or many) replies doesn't necessarily correspond to a lack of (or a lot of interest), but to how many people are logged on and actually see your post.

And obviously a written forum favours those who enjoy writing, though I don't know that if that means anything vs personality type.

I don't mean to imply that an internet persona is any less real than the way we are perceived in real life, btw. But I think a written forum lets certain parts of a personality come through stronger than other parts. At least I feel that I express myself "for real" here, but IRL I might modify what I say and how I say it according to other people's reactions.
Any thoughts?

[Crankin]

I've met quite a few TE'rs and I must say they all ended up being like I thought they would be. I find it pretty easy to read personalities through people's writing. Sometimes, I get a feeling about a person and then something they wrote confirms it. This may be my "clinical" sense, which is hard to turn off when I'm not at work.

[Catrin]

I've been fortunate enough to meet 5-6 TE members and, like Crankin, they all were like what I thought they would be. The active members of this forum tend to be very active, so our personalities can't help but to come through in our posts in one way or another. We do miss that added dimension of immediate interaction, but enough shines through to give an idea of personality.

I am really stressed right now. My boss called me "testy" yesterday, and he is right - I need to stop that. My apartment is reaching the edge of organized chaos and threatens to cross over into just plain chaos. Piles of boxes are building in preparation for me to start packing next weekend (I move at the end of Sept.) Due to certain...constraints because of my upcoming move and needing to save for an expensive trip home to see my mom I am "stuck" at home when I am not at work or gym. Too much time playing Candy Crush on FB and reading science fiction I am far more an introvert than extrovert - so the very fact that staying at home becomes stressful points to my stress level. Possibly depressed - the only place I feel like myself is when I am doing my crazy workouts at the gym and when riding my bike (more rare than I would like). I feel very isolated, but I know all of this is related to my mom's situation and some intense work stress. Depressed, stress, or both, this seems situational and it will eventually pass.

[OakLeaf]

(((((Catrin))))) Wishing you serenity ...


I've only met I think four TE'rs, but I would agree that nothing about them surprised me. I think perhaps that has as much to do with the "feel" of this forum, as it does with anything. People seem pretty authentic, here. It reminds me of the old days on CompuServe, which is where I met my DH. We'd known each other for two years there before we got together as a couple, and we were both pretty prepared for the problems we'd have in our relationship as well as the joys.

[Crankin]

Catrin, can you go take a short ride or hike? Like 30 minutes? I have found short bouts of low intensity aerobic exercise helps a lot with stress. Sometimes you have to just drop everything and go.

[Blueberry]

(((((((Catrin)))))))

I find that long walks help me when I'm edgy. Or even just sitting outside on a nice day. I do not do well inside (particularly my home - though there is nothing wrong with it) for long periods of time. Chaos in my home (moving, etc.) makes it exponentially worse for me.