well that was awkward

[velo]

You can't be shy about what is bothering you. Spell it out for them... my labia get sore from the friction, my butt is sore from the pressure, etc. They are all adults and they should be able to deal with the female anatomy. I'm sure men have no problem telling about what hurts and what doesn't.

But it really is true that you get used to it. I had a big ride last month, rode hard the following week, then gave my body a break. I rode over 200 miles that next week and all of my nether regions were more uncomfortable than usual even though I had ridden 300 miles two weeks prior. I'm back in the groove and no longer have any discomfort. It's not my saddle, it's my body. Also, you have to have the right shorts to pair with the saddle. It may not even be your saddle, but the shorts that are causing the discomfort.

Still, it may be your saddle. Like Indy, I have a cutout on my saddles that is necessary for my comfort. I know there are others here that require longer noses, shorter noses, no cut out, cut outs... etc. Fit of the bike frame or angle of seat may not be your issue. It may be the saddle itself. Take a look at Sheila's threads on saddles. There is a treasure trove of information there. Good luck!!

[ZenBiker]

The one time I had a discussion like this at my LBS, it was a general conversation i.e. I wasn't having a problem, we were just chatting about bike gear. He mentioned something that worked well for 'guy stuff' and I responded in kind about how 'girl stuff' would be different, and we both laughed a little, but we understood each other and it wasn't uncomfortable at all!

[Grits]

Like an earlier poster said, just tell them it is a soft tissue problem. That should do it.

[zoom-zoom]

Honestly, I think a lot of guys simply don't "get" the difference between their junk and ours. While men tend to battle nerve issues, we have the added "bonus" of mucous membranes to contend with. And the direct effect of hormones on that. I definitely know that certain times of the month (ie right before my period starts and for the first few days, at least) that I'm more likely to have issues with my saddle. I've had zero luck with all 3 menstrual cups I have tried, so then I have the extra issue of a raspy tampon string all up in my stuff. Guys just don't get it and a lot are downright skeeved-out by it. Not my DH, but I think he's less weirded-out by these things because I'm completely open about my issues (plus have a long history of reproductive miseries, so my privates have always sorta been on his radar, heh).

[PamNY]

I agree that "soft tissue" should work. In fact, the LBS where I bought a saddle used the term before I did.

A slight downward tilt makes a huge difference for me. I spent several days adjusting saddle tilt and placement, and it was worth the annoyance. I have a hybrid -- not a road bike -- I don't know if that matters.

Good luck with your quest.

[MichelleOH]

Congratulations on your new bike, aponi! I wish someone would draw a diagram of both men and women sitting on a saddle -- maybe from the side, as a cross cut or something -- so we could just point. It hurt's THERE. I also think it would help everyone understand how we fit on a saddle. I don't believe it's how most of us think.

In going through my saddle search for the past couple of weeks, most non-bikers say something along the lines that I should get a wide, padded "granny seat". I usually say "great suggestion" and move the conversation to a different topic.

[aponi]

thanks for all the suggestions

Funny thing is I was talking to my sister and she said that was why she quit riding. She had no idea that anything could be done. The good news about this is that now she's motivated to pull the bike out of the garage, take it to the LBS, and start figuring out what she can do differently. She's been trying to lose weight, getting back on that bike might be a good first start for her.

[indysteel]

thanks for all the suggestions

Funny thing is I was talking to my sister and she said that was why she quit riding. She had no idea that anything could be done. The good news about this is that now she's motivated to pull the bike out of the garage, take it to the LBS, and start figuring out what she can do differently. She's been trying to lose weight, getting back on that bike might be a good first start for her.

That's great! I hope you both get it figured out. It may take some patience, but there are lots of options and combinations out there. It's just a matter of finding what works for you.