"Before shorts had chamois inserts, the early riders of the Tour de France improvised. Legend has it that they would buy a cheap cut of steak from a local butcher in the morning. Ready for the off, they'd stick the slab of beef down their shorts and sit on it like a cushion. They'd ride like that all day -- tenderising the meat with their motion, marinading it in their sweat -- then hand it to the hotel chef in the evening with the instruction that it needed only a minute on each side."