We were asked for advice, mostly on where to look for help (the in laws had no money, etc) for the MIL. This woman did not know how to parent, due to her own horrible upbringing (she was in foster care) and it is amazing my DIL has achieved what she has. DS told me that when DIL was in 5th grade, she had to take a class on "hygiene skills," as no one ever told her she had to brush her teeth daily, among other things. He also once said, "Mom, can you believe a teacher had to tell her mom to read to her?" At that time, I didn't know the whole story, but now it makes sense. DS found a community service agency that is just for residents of Boston, that is going to provide lots of case work assistance. I hope she gets some clinical assistance, too; it's never too late.
We do get asked for advice by both of them, and we give it, but, it's up to them to take it!