Totally lost the desire to ride!

[colorisnt]

Baby steps are still moves forward. Depression is a hard thing for anyone to deal with. For me, I just had to force myself to do things or other people had to do it. I would go out and sometimes just be winded to walk down the street. But eventually, I started enjoying it before I even realized that going out or working out was helping. Cycling's contagious, anyway. You're bound to start wanting to go out again if you keep at it. Do as much as you can and that's good enough. Depression is a tough card to be dealt but you appear to be doing a GREAT time actively trying to improve your mood. That's all you can do. Give it time and *hugs*. It's not something that happens over night but before you know it, you will be back where you want to be soon.

[ny biker]

I actually see a positive here. You didn't go for a bike ride, but you also didn't lie in bed all day or sit on the couch staring at the TV. You put your energy into cleaning, which is productive.

I hope you're able to enjoy a ride today.

[shootingstar]

+1 with ny biker.

After all, deep depression often means a person doesn't doesn't want to clean their home regularily (if they are normally a neat person). That's the first sign.
You're on your road to recovery ....a lot more than you think.

Try not to overthink or rationalize our daily activities ...to be you. Be you now. (I hope I make sense.)

I'm not sure why I'm not cycling a lot longer distances regularily so far this year. I do bike daily and coming out of winter season I should be quadrupling or quintupling my daily distances or so, especially on weekends at minimum. But so far not a lot longer ride distances, and I have a lot of excuses if you were to corner me for an answer.

There's a part of me that is a bit calmer and in less grieving turmoil (over my sister's death) with a much more profound awareness that every bike ride I do each time ...is a gift to me. That I still have the ability to ride and enjoy it. When I ride with my partner..it's a double gift for us.

[Catrin]

I am noticing the same problem with getting out on my bike, I've been referring to it as being a weather weenie, but it seems a little more than that. I HAVE been under a lot of stress (both work and otherwise) lately but part of me wonders if it is also related to my many mtb injuries the last two years. Not on the road though, so unsure why this would be related unless it is the association with 2 wheels. I also have other activities that I am enjoying as much as riding so it may be no more complicated than that. After my mtb women's clinic volunteer activities this weekend I am going to start forcing myself to ride more often. I don't think it will take much "forcing" to get through this - I hope! I do enjoy it when I get out there - it is the "getting started" part that is the problem, and then I am satisfied with much shorter rides than at one time.

The others have provided good advice - and sometimes we do reach those times when we need to step back or do something else for a little time. Be kind to yourself and keep taking those baby steps. Good for you for not sitting in front of the TV too much and keep putting one foot in front of the other! Post here as you need to.

[kajero]

Ugh. The manager thinks I might make it. They are keeping me on a leash for 30 days. But I think my depression is lifting. It doesn't have anything to the 30 days. It's raining, but I wanted to go riding. Maybe tomorrow.

[colorisnt]

kajero,

I know the feeling about the weather. The weather makes me depressed, too. I feel too tired to ride today because of all the hoopla yesterday (my roommate had emergency surgery and I had to take care of her, she's been in and out of the hospital for two weeks) but tomorrow the weather will be awful. Why, weather? This summer has been terrible for that!

[kajero]

Uhm, spring was canceled and I am not sure summer will ever truly be here. LOL

[kajero]

My SO forced me out on a bike ride today. He said he couldn't believe he was the one that insisted we go riding! It was a good thing too, or once again I would have just slept on the couch. We biked to the library to get a book they were holding for me. It was a 7.5 mile ride there and back. It is a really beautiful because except for about 3/4 of a mile, it is entirely on trails. We didn't go really fast; I am just too out of shape. I am really tired, but it is a good tired!