I hope that you are able to find balance and that hope, joy and motivation soon return to you!
There is some great input and advice here. I'd like to share my personal experience if that's alright. I have suffered from depression since the onset of puberty, at times it has been very severe and totally debilitating. I thought it was because of so many things--home life, friends, relationships, situational, etc. And then I thought it might be chemical. I was finally put on a prescription anti-depressant in my early 20's. That really helped. Although I wasn't thrilled with the knowledge I would have to be on antidepressants the rest of my life. Eventually I started going to a naturapathic doctor. And she suggested my depression was from hormonal imbalance. Through changing my diet and supplementing occasionally with vitamins and minerals, we have been able to manage my depression in a natural way that has far better results than the prescription drug. It's truly amazing.

There are times when I have debilitating anxiety--you mentioned having fear of being alone and that's why I'm bringing this up. There was a day where I had overwhelming anxiety and fear of being in an accident, it was so great that I pulled over to the side of the road and I had to have someone come pick me up. A coworker of mine, mother of two kids about my children's age, was killed the week before in a terribly accident. Being unable to manage and rationalize fear and anxiety is a symptom of the adrenal system under duress.

What I've learned is that depression and anxiety are not things that we have to live with on a constant basis. There is help out there. We all experience sadness and anxiety/worry because of changes in our lives or circumstance. But when those feelings become so big they overtake our lives--that's a symptom of an imbalance in our bodies. A doctor is invaluable in diagnosis and resolving these imbalances.

Hugs to you!