Totally lost the desire to ride!

[OakLeaf]

((((((kajero)))))) I think the 5 cent answer to whether it's the depression or something else is, do you still enjoy doing OTHER things you used to like, or is it only the bike?

If you're having trouble enjoying anything at all, then it probably is worth GENTLY pushing yourself a little bit (but never, ever beating yourself up about it when you choose not to ride). And mentioning it to your doctor (I hope you're getting talk therapy as well as medication).

If everything else seems as attractive as ever, but the bike doesn't call to you, then there's nothing wrong with taking a break for as long as it takes until it sounds like fun again.

[Crankin]

I went through this a few years ago, when I was struggling with some physical things as well as career decisions. I've also experienced the regular waxing and waning of my motivation for riding. The thing that helped me during the struggle was trying some "lighter" forms of exercise and trying new things that I thought might help. So, while I didn't ride for a whole fall, I walked outside and I did yoga. A few times, I actually rode to yoga. By the spring, I was riding again, but with no expectation of speed or distance. When summer came, I did a lot of destination rides, like errands, to local farms or the natural foods store. This somehow connected me to things that I hadn't experienced before. I also did most of those rides on my hybrid, not my road bike. My speed was way down, but I didn't care. Last year, I ended up riding less miles than in the past 2 years, I think because the winter had been so warm and I rode through the winter. I did not do this this past winter, and I have a much better attitude.

[IBrakeforPastry]

I go through this too, sometimes. I have lots of exercise videos and many times it's just easier and faster to just workout at home, rather than get all the gear together (clothes, shoes, helmet, water, etc). Sometimes it's physical laziness, sometimes psychological (for me). I don't know how often you ride, but maybe you just need a break from it?

When I'm in one of these slumps, I like to ride my bike to the store, or library - anyplace within a few miles so I won't be gone for long, and I actually have a purpose. I don't need the gear - I just go. Sometimes that little taste perks me up and then sometimes I'll ride around the block a few more times just for fun. I hope you feel better soon!

[kajero]

Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice and suggestions. I thought I was only one on this board who was going through this . . . else why would you post here. Anyway, I understand my situation a lot better than I did thanks to all your replies. I wish I could say more about work but it is the Internet. If anyone wants to contact me via email, perhaps I could explain more.

I am under psychiatrist's care and am on medication as well going to talk therapy. I know I am suffering from major depression. I have had serious episodes in the past but was doing quite well until all this work stuff started. I finally latched on to an excellent therapist. Among other things at work, she pointed out that I still may be grieving for my father who passed away last August. That's kind of a long time to grieve, but maybe she is right.

I don't have too many other interests. I do some sewing and listen to Audio Books. I also read a lot. I know I need to do something physical, but biking was thing I loved. I have trouble finding enjoyment in any other type of activity. I have a membership in a local health club but for the last four months, all I have done is paid the monthly dues. :-(

Thanks again for all the wonderful advice. Actually, what would make me happy right now would be to go biking on a hybrid and do errands. I have tried doing that on the road bike using a backpack but it wasn't all that enjoyable. I used to do errands using my old hybrid, but I hate that bike. It's the one I had the serious crash on and I don't like to ride it. It's too big and, once I rode the road and knew how comfortable riding could be, I don't like to get on that bike!

[IBrakeforPastry]

Oh gosh - I lost my father last August, also. I sometimes feel I haven't started grieving yet. I live about 5 hours from my parents' home so it seems like we'll just catch up next time I visit. Then it hits me. He was one of my biggest fans, whether I took a 2-hour bike ride, or a 2-week voyage, it was always "Go! Have a great time, and take lots of pictures!"

Sorry to throw all that in there. I'm going "home" for a family visit tomorrow, so it's really on my mind. I think you definitely need to get through that first year with all the holidays, birthdays, and special occasions.

Take care - I'm glad you found a good therapist.

[kajero]

Well, after reading all the posts, I forced myself to go for a ride. I have the day off and it is gorgeous out. So my SO and I went out for 2.24 mile ride. I know it wasn't much but I DID IT. I really did like it although it still wasn't enjoyable as last year. Probably because I am so out of shape and I keep thinking about work -- Although your supportive words crept into my thinking a lot of the time and seemd to block out all thougts of work. Just knowing so many of you have been there and were able to overcome it really motivated me. Wait until my therapist hears that! She has been trying to find ways to help me let go of work thoughts.

Last year my longest ride was 63 miles. It's hard to accept I can only go a little over 2 miles, before getting winded and tired, but it did feel good to ride. Hopefully as I keep thinking of all you who have been where I am I will get back in the groove. In the meantime, I am so thankful for your advice and for the blessings of having your support.

[ny biker]

That's great!! Every journey starts with that first small step...