I went through second thoughts this morning in the shower: maybe we can work it out, etc. Then I remembered the years of disrespect, belittlement, anger, negativity, controlling behaviors...you get the idea. And he doesn't just treat me like that, either.

Oh, fgg, you have my best wishes and support. It's hard, but so necessary, to remember, remember clearly the fear, anxiety, numbness, and shame I felt with my abusive ex. There are some happy memories and a lot of wishful thinking time that my brain wants to throw forward as "the truth". I went through three years of infertility treatment trying to have a baby with my ex. Luckily, unsuccessful. If I'd stayed and "tried to make it work" with that ex, we would have just passed the abuse on to one more generation. What you do now will show your DS how a loving, respectful woman acts toward herself and her child.

You are not alone. One friend recommended, back then, that I look up at the moon at night, and remember all the women who have been where I was, and got free. She said the moon is like a connection point. It's helped me. So glad you've got an attorney. Take good care of yourself.