OT: My world is upside down

[fixedgeargirl]

Thanks again everyone, for the support ! I am going to meet with an attorney today. I fell through the cracks: I make too much for the pro bono program, too little for the reduced cost program. So I am going to meet with a woman who works for a little less than the typical rate b/c she works out of her home.

He says he wants to work it out, to have a happy intact family. I have trouble seeing how filing a custody suit is supposed to foster that . He also made it clear that in order for us to "move forward" I would have to admit that I made mistakes in my parenting choices and apologize for those "mistakes" . Basically, agree to do things his way (the way MIL recommends, btw) and everything will be hunky-dorey. No thanks .

I went through second thoughts this morning in the shower: maybe we can work it out, etc. Then I remembered the years of disrespect, belittlement, anger, negativity, controlling behaviors...you get the idea. And he doesn't just treat me like that, either.

I am upset that I am going to have to move out, that I am going to have the second-rate home, since I can't afford a 3 bedroom single family home on a large lot. He plans on playing the card that the house we've been living in is our son's "home", that him spending majority time with me, in whatever I can afford, will represent the greater disruption.

Fortunately I'm smarter than him , and know more about the law and how it is typically applied. I don't want to dig up dirt on him, but will do so if it means securing the best situation for my son. A lot of prayer can't hurt, either .