VBC, I totally know what you feel like! I've been single for a very, very long time for assorted reasons that I won't go into here. I too dealt with major depression which was from a serious of major traumatic events and more than a small amount of PTSD. Loneliness is still my constant companion but I've learned ways to deal with it. I am probably more comfortable with myself/in my skin than ever. Very intense exercise and other things help a lot - calmer approaches such as meditation doesn't help me much - but intense efforts serve the same purpose at helping me shut down those internal thoughts. I did go through several years of therapy and while I had mixed experiences with the therapists it was quite helpful. I should have been more proactive about changing therapists before I did, but hindsight is always 20/20. Hang in there!