Deep Depression

[shootingstar]

You know VeganBike, you might be more naturally socialable than I. Which might be why you'll like to have some 1-2 good female friends locally, sooner rather than later. I was never quite a girls' night out joiner. Friendships for me have been/continue to be one to one, because each good female friend in my life are each quite different in orientation, shared activities and from different spheres in life.

It's not that I've given up, but I know good friendships take time and can't be forced.

For awhile I flagellated myself why on earth did I make the decision to relocate where I am now. Then I sat back and realized: I should take advantage of my experience of living and cycling in 3 different regions of Canada ...and offer that knowledge/experience to others. It is one of the reasons why I blog: though life right now isn't a cakewalk, I want to share the very best that I know and have seen.

[Crankin]

When I made the comment about people relocating to the Sunbelt and taking their problems with them, I would say that most of these people moved by choice, not because they had to take a job there. They decided life would be "happier" in a place with endless summer and then found a job and moved. It would be fine for awhile, but then marital, children, emotional and social issues seemed to come out at about the 9 month to one year mark.
This is just an observation, as I especially saw it as a teacher, with kids moving in from other places. It takes work to integrate yourself into a community. I am a very social person and when I moved back to Massachusetts, it took a lot of work. Most people here stick with friends they've had for years and/or their families. It was worth it, though.
Making friends in AZ was easy, as everyone was new and mostly friendly. However, I have lived in a place I despised (Miami), so I understand the feeling of not fitting in.

[shootingstar]

What does help, especially if one doesn't know anyone well in a newish city/city that's hard to like, is regular contact with loved ones/a friend. The Internet makes it even cheaper these days. I know it's not the same as person in the same physical spot where you are, but if it means providing a sense of personal continuity and equilibrium, keeping relationships meaningful and engaged, then do so. As long as it's a 2-way street/dialogue, giving back to and for with the other person.

Where I am, there a lot of defectors from Ontario, other provinces and some from British Columbia like myself..simply because of a job offer. Calgary is the fastest growing large city in Canada at this time. However that may be slowing down a tad.

The problem is that people are friendly, interested but their commitment to the place/city is not quite there.

[solobiker]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I moved out here (Denver area) 17 years ago and for me it was tough at first. I don't have too many friends mainly because I am a pretty quiet, shy person. I have my periods of feeling in a funk so to speak. Do you have any other hobbies besided riding your bike. Sometimes I have to force myself to do mine and sometimes that helps. What part of Denver are you in? Maybe we could hook up sometime.

[Melalvai]

If you're in Boulder I have a friend who is vegan & a bicyclist. That's not to say you'd be instant friends but you'd have something in common! I know she would be happy to help you adjust.

[ehirsch83]

Send me a message also if you ever want to meet up. I am in Broomfield and moved here end of Sept- so, right around when you did.

I went through depression when we moved here and it got worse with the winter, the lack of friends, my new marriage was shaky,etc. I am now seeing a therapist and also went on some "happy meds" for a little while, but I am now not taking them! I do still need sleep meds though, otherwise I end up with insomnia.

Granted I'm not a veg, but my sister is and I used to be-so I am ubber happy to make a meal with you, meet to eat, grab a drink or go for a spin- or now with this weather- go for a hike!!!

Emily