Near death experience.. now what?

[SUZEQFL]

I need some help working through my accident last week. Out of 150 riders only one person was hurt.. me. The riders in the front of the group didn't pass back info that there was an large obstacle in the bike path. The person in front of me hit it (landscape timber), it spun around and I hit it full on. The result: I flew in the air and landed in front of an suv. The car stopped within 2 feet of running me over.

I'm thankful to be alive. Thankful to only have a fractured pelvis and tail bone.(camelbak saved my back from injury). My children, family, friends and co-workers have been great. I absolutely loved my road bike until now. Is it worth it to jeopardize your life for a sport? Next time I may not be as fortunate. (Is tennis a good alternative?) I've got so many thoughts running thru my head. Mostly at this point, I'm just thankful to be alive to write this. My cyclist friends have been incredible. I've had to take a break from answering the calls of well wishers so I can get some rest. That is one of the reasons that I don't want to give it up is because of the wonderful friends I've made through cycling. Maybe a modified type of riding is possible.

Anybody been through this? I'd appreciate your thoughts.

[Lenusik]

Dear SUZEQFL! I can understand and feel your pain. Last week I posted a note telling aboutmy first crash story. It was hard, practically devastating. Luckily, I did not break anything, but I am still treating my nasty road rash on my left shoulder, arm and leg. But, it was all worth it. A week later I won the Et Tourn de Phoenix among women on 26 mile route. And I also finished 14th overall among 130 riders. Believe me, I could not look at my bike and at the road after the crash. My husband was very worried about my ability to get back on it. But you can, I am sure that you can. When you are able to exercise again, start slowly, but please start. You have to do it for yourself.
By the way, I play tennis as well, and it is not a safe sport by any means, unlike many people assume. If you play hard, you can easily roll you ancle, create nasty shoulder problems and destroy tendons. So, forget about easy. It never is! But you are a strong woman, believe in yourself, and you would be able to get through this.
Thanks for sharing and get well quickly!

[Nanci]

I'm sorry you got hurt in such a traumatic way. Thank God you are alive! It just wasn't your time to go, that's for sure. You have some nice paved trails down near you- maybe you'll feel more comfortable riding them while you recover.

People ask that question "Is it worth dying for?" about a lot of sports. Truth is, you're probably more likely to die in a car accident, but are you going to give up driving?

(Not to mention, I started riding seriously partially in an attempt to lose weight. I was _one point_ away fro being diagnosed with diabetes. To me, that's like a death sentence. So what's riskier, quitting healthy exercise and staying home, or being out there, with some measure of risk?)

I was afraid to ride on the road for a long time. I still don't think it's safe, but I do what I can to minimize the danger- wear a mirror so I can see what's coming up behind me, keep a close eye on any traffic, etc. I used to only ride paved trails, but then I wanted to ride every night, and I just couldn't drive 40 miles every night to go ride. So I was forced out on the road.

I get off highly trafficked roads ASAP and choose other routes. I try to ride when there isn't as much traffic. I try to ride roads with better bike lanes/more room.

Still, your accident was caused by failure of other riders to relay information. That's a problem when you are riding in a group of strangers- you can't predict their behaviour. It probably wouldn't have happened if you had been out by yourself- you would have had plenty of time to see the obstacle and act accordingly. _But_, if you don't know how the people you are riding with will act in terms of informing you about road debris, potholes, sand, etc, then you need to drop back to where you can see for yourself and have sufficient reaction time.

I don't know...I'd be scared, too, if I were in your situation.

I posted a brochure about bike safety for law enforcement that had some statistics about how many cyclists were involved in accidents, and in those accidents, who was at fault, the car or the cyclist, and of those accidents, what the mortality rate is. It really isn't as dangerous as you think, but any cycling death gets a lot of notice, or we cyclists tend to notice it more. But it wasn't the car's fault that it almost hit you, in fact that driver should be commended for being able/aware enough to avoid you!! So there are some good drivers out there.

Nanci

[maillotpois]

Oh SusieQ - We all love riding our bikes, and stay as positive about the risks as we can - but one big incident like that and all the doubts and fears just come rushing in, don't they?

Well, first off you were so lucky on many fronts. You have much to be grateful for. And now you're wondering if it is worth it, the risks to yourself and your family, etc. Well, I am sure someone has said it to you before and I will say it again: there is risk to everything. Risk to getting up in the morning and going outside, risk to eating certain things, driving a car, getting dental x-rays, etc., etc. The question is - is the pleasure you get from doing the activity worth the risk?

I have had a lot of nasty crashes riding my bike. Fortunately, no serious injuries yet. I've decided that for me, riding a road bike (and occasioanlly racing) is worth the risk. Nothing else gives me the sense of freedom and empowerment of riding a bike. It makes me healthy, it makes me a happy person and, therefore, a better wife and mother. I believe that riding sets a good example for my daughter and encourages her to be active.

No one but you can answer the question of whether continuing to ride is worth the risks. Someone might suggest you try mountain biking because the car danger, at least, is reduced. But there are additional risks to that which aren't present in road riding. So there's no easy solution.

I hope you heal well. I'm sure you will.

[CorsairMac]

Hugsss Suzie! You might try PM'ng Denise. She had a Very bad crash, was out of it for several days and still rides cross country. The only person - like Maillot said - that can truly answer that question is you. Just don't push yourself if and/or when you get back on the bike. It Will be very scary at first and things will cause you to react differently until you can build your confidence level back up. Living life can be dangerous rather you're driving your car or sitting on your back porch, it's up to each of us how we choose to live it! Sending healing thoughts your way and keeping you in my prayers!

[DeniseGoldberg]

Suze -
I'm glad you're feeling well enough to share your story with us. First, let me add my healing wishes to everyone else's.

As to returning to cycling, only you can make that decision. It sounds like it is a good part of your life, and from your description of your cycling friend's reactions, it sounds like you have a good support system too. I may have been a little luckier than you in that I have no idea what caused my crash (almost) two years ago. My most serious injury was a severe brain injury - in addition to a skull fracture, pelvic fracture, and... I assume that my memory loss was due to the brain injury.That may have made it easier for me to get back on my bike, although I have to admit that on my first ride I had to ride over the same territory to see if I could figure out what caused my bike to flip over (and me to land on my head). But this isn't about me - it's about you recovering and getting back on your bike.

First, I'm assuming that you want to ride or you probably wouldn't have posted looking for suggestions from women cyclists. And I assume that it will be a while before you get an ok to get back on your bike if you have a broken pelvis. When you are ready to ride, find someplace that makes you comfortable for your first ride. It could be a bike path, or it could be the road. Where ever it is, give yourself the time and the space to feel safe.

I had stopped riding in / with large groups well before my crash. I'm somewhat of a loner, although I do ride with other folks some of the time. But small groups only... I am not comfortable if I can't see the road (and what's on it...) ahead of me. But that said, accidents do happen. They happen in cars, walking, biking - and I hope that you are able to get past your fear and work towards getting back on your bike.

If you think it would help to talk, send me a private message and I'll send you my phone number.

--- Denise

[Bike Goddess]

SUZEQFL- Thank you for sharing your harrowing experience with us. I would agree- talk with Denise. She has overcome her fears and now rides all over the place!

I also agree with the others- we take many risks in our lives. BUT, the joy of cycling for me overpowers the risks I take by going out.

Is there something you want to say to the rider(s) in front of you that hasn't been said? Sometimes discovering what you haven't said in the open and saying it now will help you heal both mentally and physically. It's just another way to look at the incident and be sure that you are at rest with yourself and the others. Freeing oneself from past incidents is a very powerful process and will give you much strength as you go forward with the healing process. My thoughts are with you and I wish you the very best during this time of recuperation. I do hope you will be cycling with us in the future and that you can return to a sport you love so much.

[mmelindas]

Oh, I am soooo sorry for your terrible accident and painful injuries! I cannot imagine the pain of your fractures and injuries! I am sending positive thoughts your way and encouragement to try again to bike someday..if that's what you want.

I have never crashed on a bike, but I've had a close call in a very bad car accident five years ago and 30 plus years ago, I crashed an airplane on my first flying lesson! It took me 20 years before I was brave enough to fly again; it took me almost a year before I could drive a car again (and I still get scared when in heavy freeway traffic. I still get a lump in my stomach when I fly on commercial planes - but I do both!)

For me, I find I am more afraid of things that didn't used to bother me before the accidents. I found myself terrified easily, (panic attacks really), because of the accident. It takes a lot to get over a bad crash, whether car plane, bike or motorcycle....really it's more in your mind than in reality. It is your mind you have to worry about, your fear, which is often worse than reality.....

It may happen that you will be able to get over your fear or maybe not over it totally... but it's all up to you - how hard you want to pursue the sport. Like teaching a child to walk, it must begin with small absolutely safe steps, each success built on the former successes. I agree with your TE friends, take it slow and put your comfort & safety first.

Physicians desensitize panic patients by guiding them through small successes: for a fear of animals, it begins with looking at photos of animals; then observing them from a distance, and so forth, until the patient can touch or pet an animal - which may take a lot of time. But any slipping backwards, warrants another attempt, later and with increased sense of safety. It can be done. It can't be done overnight!

What you are feeling is so natural, so understandable, and we know you want to have different feelings. Accidents can change you but they don't have to break you.....

Remember just because YOU had an accident, doesn't make the sport any less safe or more dangerous.

It is what it was before your accident.

It is your mind, your fear that will matter most. I'd possibly consider talking to a counselor to learn how to manage your fears best. It's all up to you and there is NO rush.

From my own perspective, what happened to you is emotionally as traumatic as being attacked physically. It really unnerves you, I know a little of how you feel. None of us TE gals will love you any less if you give up biking, but I don't think you will!

I would just encourage you to let your body and mind heal over time, then take a fresh look at ways you could enjoy the sport in small steps to see if you recover your zest for biking. It takes a lot of courage to return to something that hurt you so much;

Life is about taking risks. What risks you choose to take are up to you. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to step out of our comfort zones a bit to really enjoy life. Be gentle to yourself, nobody is rushing you to do anything, Suzie. We love you and are here to talk to, to support whatever decision you make.

[Brandi]

I agree with everybody! I am just glad to know that one of our TE memebers is still around to talk about what happend. I am glad you are not worse off then you could have been.

[Nanci]

Suze,

If, when you get back on your bike, you want me to come ride with you, on, say, the Withlacoochee Trail, I'd be honored to.

Nanci

[SUZEQFL]

Ladies,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I'm so torn because the cycling and the friends have become such a huge part of who I am. I don't have to make any decisions today and you've each given me some good advice and things that I need to consider.

As I started reading your responses I found myself crying. The emotional part is very tough, but your support is so appreciated. I can't say much to my family and people really close to me because they came so close to losing me.

I'll keep you posted of my progress and thank you so much for helping me through this tough time.

Susan