I'm really sorry for what you are going through Badger. I really have no thoughts about what to do to help you. I think the counselor is really a good thing; - it can help you deal with the grief from the loss of your friend as well as whatever is going on with your husband. You can try to be supportive but you cannot make your hubby do the right things right now. He is dealing with his grief the only way he knows how to also. I would hope that you could tell him how devastated you are about how distant he is and ask him to try to see a counselor as well. Again, I'm not sure what solution there is because grief is a different for everyone. I am just hopeful that you will figure a way to get through this

spokewench