Quote Originally Posted by badger View Post
I slept well last night but after waking up made the mistake of going online searching for partners who push you away in grief. Turns out it's not that unusual for loving partners to suddenly out of the blue break up after they lose a parent. Granted in my situation it's not a parent but the stories are similar enough to my situation that it really has put me back into a dark place. They all wondered how they could push away someone who is the closest to them, but usually it's because the one who is grieving simply doesn't have anything in them for a relationship. They may reach out to friends but they're not obligated as they are to a partner.
Keep in mind that most people who post about this are going to be those who have either left or been left by a partner in this situation. The ones that find their way back to each other, like I did with my DH after losing my father, aren't as likely to post since things turned out okay in the end. I never for one minute considered leaving my DH -- I needed him and never stopped loving him, even though he couldn't really relate to what I was going through, and despite the fact that I needed to share more with my family members who had a similar depth of emotion for my dad as I did, for awhile.

I'm glad the experience I shared above was helpful, badger. I am sure that breakups do occur, as Mimi posted and as you found from your online searches, but please don't think it's inevitable. Keep up with the meditation to help with the anxiety and don't give up!