Need support, really struggling

[Biciclista]

I didn't mean to offend you, i was just letting you know it IS possible, that this stuff CAN happen.

some people want to know things like this, so they know they are not being paranoid...it's real. it can happen. I did think I was being helpful

I am sorry.

[redrhodie]

((((Badger))) . This past summer I was going through a lot of anxiety, and meditation helped. You might find some of these guided meditations helpful.

http://health.ucsd.edu/specialties/m...ges/audio.aspx

I wish I could give you a real hug because I really feel for you. This is hard on so many levels. Please take care of yourself.

[badger]

((((Badger))) . This past summer I was going through a lot of anxiety, and meditation helped. You might find some of these guided meditations helpful.

http://health.ucsd.edu/specialties/m...ges/audio.aspx

I wish I could give you a real hug because I really feel for you. This is hard on so many levels. Please take care of yourself.

Thanks for the link, I tried the 20 minute scan and I woke up an hour later... I have the tools to do transcendental meditation but I haven't really done it in years, I certainly should. They say not to but I use my mantra as I'm trying to calm myself to sleep. I tried the 20 minute scan last night to do the same and I don't think I lasted 5 minutes!

[Crankin]

Badger, it's quite normal to fall asleep when starting a meditation practice, especially the body scan. Keep at it and your body will get used to the relaxation mode without falling asleep. Unless you are using this to fall asleep... I didn't read back in the thread. I always tell my clients using these kinds of things are sort of like giving yourself an innoculation against anxiety; if you practice every day, it lowers your overall level of cortisol, noriepinephrine, etc. so you are less apt to get a huge surge of these stress hormones when you are in the moment of a stressful situation, thus decreasing the icky physical symptoms of anxiety like tingling, heart palps, and so on. But you can also use some of these things in the moment, particularly, some quick progressive muscle relaxation (tense and release) that you can even do in public if needed.

[NbyNW]

(((Badger)))
I have no wisdom to share, only hugs and support. Please take good care of yourself.

[hirakukibou]

Actually, NbyNW, "Take good care of yourself" is wisdom that I echo. I have found in all my depression and grief that the best thing I can do for myself and others, IS to take care of myself and that is an active process. I hope that you and your bf find your way through this together. (((((((((Badger))))))))

[badger]

I can only take care of myself at this moment, butI'm thrown back about 10 years in terms of anxiety management. I haven't felt this horrible in that period of time.

I had a good day yesterday where I got a lot accomplished. I saw a counsellor (I'll see her again more properly tomorrow, yesterday was a 30 minute free trial), got my car's spark plug changed, and had a great meeting with my friend who is going through a horrible break up and have been going through similar problems. I felt okay and hopeful.

I slept well last night but after waking up made the mistake of going online searching for partners who push you away in grief. Turns out it's not that unusual for loving partners to suddenly out of the blue break up after they lose a parent. Granted in my situation it's not a parent but the stories are similar enough to my situation that it really has put me back into a dark place. They all wondered how they could push away someone who is the closest to them, but usually it's because the one who is grieving simply doesn't have anything in them for a relationship. They may reach out to friends but they're not obligated as they are to a partner.

All I can do now is hope that he is not on that path and that somehow him taking proactive steps to halt his depression will be enough to not cut me out of his life.

[spokewench]

I'm really sorry for what you are going through Badger. I really have no thoughts about what to do to help you. I think the counselor is really a good thing; - it can help you deal with the grief from the loss of your friend as well as whatever is going on with your husband. You can try to be supportive but you cannot make your hubby do the right things right now. He is dealing with his grief the only way he knows how to also. I would hope that you could tell him how devastated you are about how distant he is and ask him to try to see a counselor as well. Again, I'm not sure what solution there is because grief is a different for everyone. I am just hopeful that you will figure a way to get through this

spokewench