Oh wow, Swan. To be honest I don't think you'll get very far with your mother. I think that's just too much to change when you have your own stuff to deal with and you also have to stay in the house on reasonably amicable terms.

Apart from moving out I can only second the idea that you enforce a couple of the things that trouble you the most, like putting a lock on your bedroom door and maybe on the one bathroom door, and letting the rest lie.