Thread Drift

[emily_in_nc]

I have definitely been there on those kinds of decisions. And I am terribly indecisive and always second-guess my decisions.

Ultimately, I usually follow my heart and gut. When I don't, I end up regretting it.

As my yoga instructor likes to say "listen inside".

Congratulations!

[Crankin]

Take the job.

[lph]

Yeah. I know I will. I'd be an idiot not to. But I wish I could be a bit happier about it, right now...

But I've been in the job I have now for 13 years. I have most of my friends there. I've been on climbing trips, skiing trips and dozens of bike rides with coworkers. I've lost several coworkers to cancer, and one to suicide. I've mourned with the one who recently lost his wife after three rough years of illness. I've seen friends meet, fall in love and marry, and of course I've been out shopping for gift after gift for the ones who have big birthdays or who are home with a troublesome pregnancy, or who have a baby. In many ways I'll be saying goodbye to a large portion of my life the way it is today. I guess it's just normal to feel pretty darn sad about it. I know I can keep in touch with some of them, but most of them I won't, and even the ones I'm closest to I will only meet once in a while, instead of every day.

I will get over it and see the bright side. Just a bit despondent right now. And a little shocked at how badly I'm responding to change.

[Crankin]

This is why I stopped being social friends with colleagues. Too much...
I don't think you're overreacting. This is a huge change and you will feel conflicted and sad.

[OakLeaf]

Congrats, lph.

You nailed it, you understand why you're sad. I think that's completely natural. I'm not surprised the sad feelings are overwhelming the happy ones right now, but you know that won't last. Be proud of yourself.

[emily_in_nc]

I totally understand. When I retired from my job in Aug. 2011, I had worked with some of my co-workers for over 20 years. Some were social friends as well as work friends. It was very hard to say goodbye. I have stayed in touch with a few, but not all. When we went back to NC for a visit this past August, we arranged to meet our best work friends for lunch, and it was great to catch up, but it's never quite the same as when people see each other day-in, day-out. You really do become like family, and I have almost always had a "best friend" at work -- someone I was really close to -- as well. These friendships tend to endure.

But nothing says it was easy. Tears were definitely shed. Still, I have never looked back and don't miss the workplace or job at all, just the people. Pretty much exactly what I expected.

[indysteel]

Congrats, lph! You should be proud!!!

I may have to leave my job when my boss retires, so while my departure--if it comes to that--won't be voluntary--I totally get where you're coming from. Change, no matter what prompts it, is incredibly hard. But I tend to think that we're also much more adaptive than we often believe ourselves to be. Just remember that you do will not adapt overnight, so be kind and patient with yourself during that process.