talk me down off the ledge, please

[SheFly]

I LOVE IT! Don't change it - looks awesome. Looking forward to seeing you in February - gray hair and all!

SheFly

[shootingstar]

I absolutely hate the use of ma'm, or sir for that matter. It feels rooted in subservience.

This really sounds more like certain parts of the U.S. I don't mind if somone occasionally calls me "ma'am" if they are trying to get my attention. How else should they flag down my attention if they don't know my name?

GLC, you worry too much. You look chic.

[OakLeaf]

You look fabulous. Quit worrying!

[indysteel]

You look fabulous. Quit worrying!

+1! Honestly, you look fabulous. I think the grey is very flattering with your complexion.

[emily_in_nc]

I think you look great, GLC. The haircut and color are very becoming with your complexion, glasses, etc. I wonder if the not liking how you look with the gray at times has as much to do with the length of your hair as the color, because I had that short a cut for a very short time when I was in my late 30s (and coloring/highlighting my hair). When I had on earrings, makeup, and a nice blouse, I thought I looked pretty darn good, but when I rolled out of bed on the weekends and went out to do my gardening sans any of the above, I felt like I looked like a boy -- not flattering at all, even though my hair was colored. I grew my hair out because of that -- I just felt that the short cut made me look too masculine if I didn't have makeup/earrings on.

I stopped coloring several years ago, as I've said here before, but I am not really salt and pepper; my natural color now (much to my surprise since I'd been coloring it since age 25) is a mixture of light blonde, medium brown (more in the back), and white (more in the front). From a distance it reads a bit more blonde than gray because there's none of the "steel" color in it that people who have had really dark hair naturally, like you, tend to get. If I had known it looked like this, I would have gone natural decades ago. I just think of all the money and time I wasted trying to cover up what little gray was there at the time. At times I miss being blonder like when I colored and know I could shave 5 years off my age (at least) if I colored again, but it's still not worth it to me since I think my hair looks fine as it is. (It is lighter than in my avatar now because I'm older and because it was wet in that photo.)

Like you, I like being different.

[malkin]

For me, whenever the internal discussion turns to hair color, the cost of color and maintaining it puts it at dead halt. For me.

Me too.
I kind of want to dread my grey mop top, but...really... I always seem to have something better to do than do my hair, so I just keep not getting around to it.

[IBrakeforPastry]

I'm sorry but I had a very good laugh. You forget my dear, you are working with bunch of ENGINEERS!! Bunch of social nit wits, a big social ZEROS. Take it with a grain of salt. Remember what HR people have to say about engineers, bunch of socially inept people social IQ is in the single digit.

After a personally rough year, I was hoping to get back into the swing of things, getting out and socializing more. But maybe if I'm a big zero, I shouldn't bother. I'll take this comment with a grain of salt, too, hoping it was just an inside joke between you and the OP.

[lph]

I share a house and a life with an engineer, work with engineers, and according to my job description I am one too, and I laughed - it's just how we describe ourselves too, more adept at figuring out how things work than how people work. Just a joke about stereotypes :-)

[Crankin]

In regards to the comments about engineers. My DH is a director of a division of a company that makes software for engineers and scientists (as well as several other fields). He's responsible for about 300 engineers, mathematicians, or scientists who support the sales people, world wide. He describes himself as the business guy who makes sure all of the geniuses are OK. The nature of the work these people do requires excellent social and communication skills, and from what he describes, it is very difficult to find people who have those skills and some very technical/specialized engineering skills. These are not people who generally stay in the development end of the field. So, it may be a stereotype, but there is truth in it. I hear a lot of stories, as one of my DH's main responsibilities is making sure the positions are all filled. Since the company is doing very well, it's a lot of pressure, as it is very hard for him to find good people.
Social skills are important in any job...

[shootingstar]

I think there is a bit of difference knowing a group of engineers /working in an engineering environment vs. knowing personally engineers -- my dearie is one (civil) and also has his MBA so his roles moved from engineering to management. Plus I have a brother-in-law who has a PhD in engineering and teaches several courses at an Ontario university, plus is associate chair for his faculty, etc. Both of these guys enjoy art, architecture and literature (alot of civil/structural engineers are wannabe architects but just couldn't master artistic side properly. It's an inside joke within these engineering disciplines.). Some play musical instruments, not all engineers are dolts.

I worked on a major construction engineering project where my impressions with pics are here . I am not an engineer but had jobs working in engineering organizations. There is a real distinctly "male" ambiance at a construction site...even if most of the guys are nice/polite. We had very few female engineers (less than 10%) and none of them were in supervisory roles. In such work environments, one doesn't feel like wearing a dress or skirt often. I got tired of having a thin film of construction dust on my dress pants...

For a female engineer in such environments, better to look pragmatic rather than overly fragile looking, or too frou-frou looking if you want the guys to take you seriously. There similarities to cycling world: it's how you act, perform and speak, never mind the grey hair, lines...

[luvmyguys]

Dh and I are chemical engineers by degree (I'm a stay at home mom right now, though). We live in an area where over half of all white collar jobs require an engineering background, and in a plant setting, you have to know how to get along with non-engineering types just to do your job. As such, I haven't found that stereotype to be as true as others. There are non-social types, obviously, as there are in any field.

[luvmyguys]

I worked on a major construction engineering project where my impressions with pics are here . I am not an engineer but had jobs working in engineering organizations. There is a real distinctly "male" ambiance at a construction site...even if most of the guys are nice/polite. We had very few female engineers (less than 10%) and none of them were in supervisory roles. In such work environments, one doesn't feel like wearing a dress or skirt often. I got tired of having a thin film of construction dust on my dress pants...

For a female engineer in such environments, better to look pragmatic rather than overly fragile looking, or too frou-frou looking if you want the guys to take you seriously. There similarities to cycling world: it's how you act, perform and speak, never mind the grey hair, lines...

We had to hang out with the more, um, rural of folk - we called it the "huntin' and fishin' crowd". I did have to overcome some of the female bias with some of the old timers, especially with one guy who supervised some of the operators and wanted to know why I didn't just go be a secretary for my dad.

But yeah, you had to prove you weren't a shrinking flower. Being on the fire team and a tower rat helped.

[GLC1968]

Yes, there is some bit of an inside joke to the original statement from smilingcat, so please engineers...don't take it personally.

I am an engineer as well (BSEE & MSEE), but a year and a half ago, I took a role in HR. Now I run our college program, so I am a constant link between academia, engineers and the rest of the world. I can tell you that even though there are a large % of engineers that do have good social skills, there is a very, very distinct difference in the way engineers communicate and the way say marketing or HR people communicate. And this is coming from a high tech engineering based company!

As a recruiter, I will say that universities these days ARE listening to industry and engineers are absolutely getting a more well-rounded educational experience than even a decade ago. Graduates are expected to have good written and verbal communication skills and they are expected to work well in group situations. That said, those groups are with other engineers, so it's not quite the same as asking an engineer to explain a product to some end-users.

While yes, it is a stereotype, there is absolutely some truth to it. If there weren't, Big Bang Theory wouldn't be winning Emmy's!

[azfiddle]

Late to this post but you look great!

I have colored my hair since my mid-30's when the gray got really noticeable. But I am a middle-school teacher in a district that really seems value youth more than maturity at times and also play music with a couple of bands and prefer not to be gray-haired as a performer.

It's a pain to dye my hair and I have to do it every 3-4 weeks. Love the look if my stylist does it, but I can't afford it that often.

[emily_in_nc]

While yes, it is a stereotype, there is absolutely some truth to it. If there weren't, Big Bang Theory wouldn't be winning Emmy's!

Absolutely. I was a software engineer for the majority of my career (though I don't have an "engineering" degree -- actually a BA in Psychology, a year of clinical psych grad school, and a post-baccalaureate computer programming certificate). I worked with other software engineers, hardware engineers, and mechanical engineers. A few had excellent social skills, but a large number fit the stereotype of nerd, geek, whatever -- very smart but socially awkward. A few were downright strange birds or odd ducks. I took the comment as funny and (mostly) true.

And I heart the Big Bang Theory!