talk me down off the ledge, please

[lph]

Actually, I just thought of something. When you see a guy from behind with no hair or a very short buzzcut - do you think old or young? Or do you wait until you see his face?

When I was growing up bald men were old, period. Now very short hair or bald heads are all the rage, over here at least, so it's just as likely that a bald guy is his twenties as in his sixties. Just something to ponder. Times do change.

[OakLeaf]

when someone thinks he or she is speaking to an older person who has no brains.

And there you have it. We're really talking about two separate things here.

The idea that older women are worth less than older men.

And the idea that older people have no brains.

(My personal stereotype, that I do try to fight but still find myself involuntarily holding, is that older people have no manners. But I think that if I had to go around all day with people assuming I had no brains, I'd lose my manners pretty quickly.)

[Artista]

I also have some gray that mostly blends into my medium brown hair. I used to highlight my hair to ensure that the gray wasn't apparent. I grew weary of the time and expense involved in highlighting and decided to spend less time in the stylist's chair and more time on my bike. I'm not entirely comfortable with the gray and sometimes consider highlighting again. The last time I considered it was when you posted the picture of yourself after going totally gray and cutting your hair short. I thought that you looked so darn cute that I decided to leave my own hair alone.

So to whomever posted about you being an unwitting inspiration to other women, +1!

[lauraelmore1033]

Ha! don't get me started! People have been asking if my husband is my son since I was 28--well before I had any hairs even thinking about going grey. We are the same age, by the way. Societal attitudes about women and age and weight and attractiveness have always been a hot button for me. Do to your hair whatever makes YOU feel attractive and pay no mind to what the clueless think.

[SheFly]

GLC - GET OFF THE LEDGE!

You know me - same age as you, and gray hair. Also short. I've met you, and you DO NOT LOOK OLD! I've seen pics of you with gray hair - still not old. Ultimately, you have to do what feels best for you. Do I get agitated when the nitwits at the grocery store call me ma'am? Yes, but I let it slide off.

I am happy with who I am. I like my hair the way it is (low fuss, no muss, and NO MAINTENANCE). I know that you are happy with who you are - you just have to get to a point where what others think doesn't bother you.

I think your hair is cute. You off the ledge yet????

SheFly

[GLC1968]

Thank you everyone! You all have helped me immensely.

When I went back and reread my post (after the emotions had dissipated) the part that stuck out was when I wrote "I LIKE being different". I do. Even if that means that people don't 'get' me. Like someone else mentioned, I've spent my life being mistaken for 10 - 15 years younger than I am, so it's a pretty big shift to now be mistaken for someone older. I've laughed out loud walking through airports when guys who are my fathers age eye me like 'hey, hot woman my own age'. I don't take offense...I just find it hilarious!

similingcat - this guy was not an engineer...he's a recruiter and actually has quite good social skills even if he is a few cards short of a full deck. I suppose I could take the direction that I look age appropriate now, but 9 years ago, I looked significantly younger. Maybe I looked early 20's in my wedding photo to him? Yeah, that's it! See! Compliment!!

LPH - thanks for your thoughts and for posting that woman's name. I have a collection of images of women with grey hair that I've saved over the years as inspiration and I'll definitely add her. I'm tired of Jamie Lee Curtis references! Actually, my mom is half Norwegian and she's where I get my grey hair so it's kind of appropriate. My mom had a grey streak in her HS graduation photo but she's blonde so it's not as obvious as my dark hair. My mom is now 100% natural (at 71) and it's platinum/white. I hope I'm white soon as I LOVE the white part of my hair. It's so edgy and such a HUGE contrast to my skin and eye color (again, I'm dark while my mom is green-eyed).

SheFly - thank you. You still remain one of my inspirations, so I appreciate the pep talk!

Crankin - wanna see what I look like with grey hair in real life? I'm coming to Chelmsford next month! Do you (and SheFly) want to meet up again?

[Crankin]

Yes. Send me a PM with the dates... I have a short ski trip and a 2 day training next month, but hopefully, that won't interfere.
Hopefully, it will be above 12 degrees like it is today .

[GLC1968]

Hopefully, it will be above 12 degrees like it is today .

Oh, I hope so! I don't have clothes for temps like that anymore!

[Becky]

Do I get agitated when the nitwits at the grocery store call me ma'am? Yes, but I let it slide off.

Threadjack here: Perhaps they just grew up in a part of the country where "sir" and "ma'am" are respectful, regardless of age?

Back to the regularly-scheduled thread: GLC, I've only seen one or two pictures of you, but I think your hair is very striking and not "old" at all.

[lph]

If we don't see photos, it didn't happen. :-)

eta: that was in response to the meet-up posts!

[Crankin]

I absolutely hate the use of ma'm, or sir for that matter. It feels rooted in subservience. When we moved to Florida, the first time someone in a store called my mom (who was 38 and looked about 12) ma'm, she very loudly said, "Who are you talking to?"

[Irulan]

For me, whenever the internal discussion turns to hair color, the cost of color and maintaining it puts it at dead halt. For me.

[luvmyguys]

I'm sorry but I had a very good laugh. You forget my dear, you are working with bunch of ENGINEERS!! Bunch of social nit wits, a big social ZEROS. Take it with a grain of salt. Remember what HR people have to say about engineers, bunch of socially inept people social IQ is in the single digit.

Around here, engineers without people skills get eaten alive. Please, please, please don't perpetuate the (often incorrect) stereotype.

[7rider]

For some reason, talk of hair color or hairstyles always gets me thinking of The Talking Heads and "Life During Wartime".
"I changed my hairstyle, so many times now, I don't know what I look like!"
Classic!
It also reminds me of the double standard on grey hair in men vs. women.
But then, I just colored my hair the other week, so I'm good for at least another 2 months.

[GLC1968]

For some reason, talk of hair color or hairstyles always gets me thinking of The Talking Heads and "Life During Wartime".
"I changed my hairstyle, so many times now, I don't know what I look like!"
Classic!
It also reminds me of the double standard on grey hair in men vs. women.
But then, I just colored my hair the other week, so I'm good for at least another 2 months.

I liked that clip, thanks for posting it!

It confirmed my earlier decision. My grey is staying!

I will admit that I like my hair MUCH better when I'm cleaned up and dressed for work or for something nice...I don't like what it looks like when I've rolled out of bed or after a workout or a swim. That's probably my own concern that I look like I don't care (grey hair + sloppy look) instead of just looking like I'm 'au naturale' as might have been the case when I was younger or still a brunette. I think that speaks to one of the comments in the clip that grey = I-don't-care or I've-given-up on a woman.

This was taken last fall so the style is different now but this gives you an idea (it's lighter now too because I wear it parted the other way and my right side is much whiter than the left side):