talk me down off the ledge, please

[spokewench]

You should do what you feel comfortable doing. If it bothers you, color it. If it does not bother you, leave it alone. Only you can know whether other people's opinions affect you adversely or not

[OakLeaf]

Ugh. A law school classmate of mine was grey before she was 30. She didn't color then, and I haven't seen her in person since her wedding about five years after we graduated. I just googled out of curiosity. Yep, she colors now.

Maybe you could do a temporary color to try it back on again - see how you feel about it at this point in your life - then get a "real" salon color if you want to stay with it?

You can color and STILL get ticked off by society, you know.

[shootingstar]

I can't offer truest experience, GLC because I haven't gotten grey alot. Just a few grey strands among black hair.

You need to feel most comfortable. However for your job, it can't be a terrible thing to have some grey hair since personnel recruitment does require an experienced person ...and someone who looks fit/healthy helps enormously. If people already know that your former experience is engineering hands-on, an engineering degree PLUS other stuff, you would be a role model/mentor to others...particular for women in engineering positions. I worked in several organizations (public sector and large global firm), where licensed female engineers with demonstrated engineering experience, savvy plus defined LIFE experience do tend to be respected by their male engineering counterparts. Just a personal observation.

GLC, think of someone who is non-white, what they might have to do express themselves to counteract stereotyping of ie. not being born in North America, when they are. This is why if later I am judged by being older/ageism..... I can't worry about it much. Because I've judged negatively (based on comments to my face) in the past wrongly based on other visual cues.

But great that you have taken steps to "try out" greyness.

[Crankin]

Well, I will agree that in certain part of the country, you will be treated more on superficial looks.
That said, I've made it clear that I color my hair (although I don't have more than a few strands of gray) at almost 60 and I plan to continue doing it for the foreseeable future. I think I look good for my age the way I am now and I like the fact that my co-workers usually guess my age as anywhere between 45 and 50. This is important to me, as they are all about 30-35, with the exception of my boss, who is 40. I have enough other stuff that makes me look "mature," and I think gray would make me look old. My personal opinion is that unless someone my age has perfect skin, gray makes you look old.
Now, I've met you GLC, and you certainly don't look old! However, your hair was brown, and I am trying to picture you with gray. What about going lighter? I have a friend with hair about your color and she had considerable gray. She now gets lots of blonde highlights, it blends in well, and it looks great on her. She's my age and it doesn't look "fake."
I know people have strong feelings about this issue, and you can call me vain. I think looks *are* important in the business world. Of course, I would never comment on someone's pictures like that dumb azz guy, but I won't be one to talk you down.

[TrekDianna]

I think you should do what makes you happy and what makes you feel better about yourself. I've never cared what people thought about me I've always been too much of a renegade my entire life and if you look at the things I have run off to do and the adventures I've had...I've earned the gray I have. I actually like my gray. I have streaks in the front. I wouldn't change them at all.

[Possegal]

I feel for you. I've said here before how my mother was completely grey at 16, so when I started to go in my teens, she didn't have a lot of sympathy. People started describing my hair as salt and pepper in my mid 20s, and by my mid 30s I was pretty much all grey. I die it, and I make no apology for it. (and yes, on this board and others, there are some very strong opinions about hair coloring ) I've also got some serious 'smile lines' (at least that's what they were in my 20s now they look a lot like wrinkles.) And my excess weight always makes me look older.

So now I deal with people thinking I'm 10 yrs older than I am, when I used to have people thinking I was 10 yrs younger. And when the roots grow in, it is worse. Need to touch them up now in fact.

No easy answers. Coloring it can be a pain. I agree with the idea of looking into coloring it but a lighter color. My grey-haired-old mother (what my dad always called her, very affectionately!) always said that once you stop coloring it and let it be gray, it is hard to go back to a darker color and you should look to something light but not grey. She'd say that your coloring changes. Probably an old wives tale, but she was one, so there is that.

Sorry that you're on the ledge. Just saying I feel your pain!

[smilingcat]

I'm sorry but I had a very good laugh. You forget my dear, you are working with bunch of ENGINEERS!! Bunch of social nit wits, a big social ZEROS. Take it with a grain of salt. Remember what HR people have to say about engineers, bunch of socially inept people social IQ is in the single digit.

FYI, I have a big streak of grey so much so that if Pepe Le Pew was around, he might fall madly in love with me or I could be a sister or cousin of Cruela DeVille. My silver grey is so strong and such sharp contrast that coloring was not an option. You could see a strong line across the hair where it grew out. Lot of it has to do with how you feel about yourself and how you project your self. Be the confident, happy self and that is what people will see. If you project a tired and worn out person, they will see that and see an old lady.

My partner is in her 60's but routinely, she is mistaken for someone 10 years younger.

Do what makes you and your husband happy.

[shootingstar]

This is just a side story of something that did happen coincidentally today:

For the first time, the manager decided to celebrate several employees' birthdays during this month. I was one of them (I turn 54 next wk.). But I didn't announce what my age was nor were others initially aware that my birthday fell in January.

However I did tell my supervisor when she was hired 6 months ago.....I dunno..why but I did mention I was over 50. She has my resume plus my graduating year of 2nd university degree. One could guess..sort of. 1-2 times in the past, she referred to me as "missy", which honest, I chose to ignore her. I think she realized her mistake.

Today, she was also another employee with birthday in same month along with 4 others. She made it clear...several times in fact within a span of 2 hrs., that she turned 50 this month. Not sure why she had to tell all of us. I don't think we cared in the end. She did choose to colour her hair 6 months ago to cover some blonde-white greyness. Contradictory, don't you think? Some people wanting to assert their seniority for certain social situations vs. whatever.

[luvmyguys]

I'm sorry but I had a very good laugh. You forget my dear, you are working with bunch of ENGINEERS!! Bunch of social nit wits, a big social ZEROS. Take it with a grain of salt. Remember what HR people have to say about engineers, bunch of socially inept people social IQ is in the single digit.

Around here, engineers without people skills get eaten alive. Please, please, please don't perpetuate the (often incorrect) stereotype.

[IBrakeforPastry]

I'm sorry but I had a very good laugh. You forget my dear, you are working with bunch of ENGINEERS!! Bunch of social nit wits, a big social ZEROS. Take it with a grain of salt. Remember what HR people have to say about engineers, bunch of socially inept people social IQ is in the single digit.

After a personally rough year, I was hoping to get back into the swing of things, getting out and socializing more. But maybe if I'm a big zero, I shouldn't bother. I'll take this comment with a grain of salt, too, hoping it was just an inside joke between you and the OP.