Oh my. I had missed this too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this!

Re: your bike; I had a similar aversion to my cellphone after my brother died suddenly, and I spent most of a long car trip home from vacation trying to get hold of my mother via that phone to tell her. After that I just wanted to throw the horrible thing in the trash, I would hide it because I couldn't bear looking at it. I bought a new phone, but when I found the old one in a drawer many months later the aversion had just disappeared. Maybe it's ok to just give your bike a break.

I hope you find some kind of physical activity that you are comfortable with and don't have to force yourself to do. It really helps, there's a lot of free therapy in there.