Gap year(s)

[Crankin]

I don't agree that you have to start college after HS and go straight through. Most kids who do gap year programs around here do some sort of organized thing (volunteering or working, travel) that gives a freshman college student a good deal of maturity and perhaps a focus that others don't have.
And NbyNW, you are right about the working. Both of my kids worked summers in HS and had part time jobs starting at age 14. DS #2 started working as a teacher's assistant at the synagogue preschool school program once a month, when he was 13. He also babysat a lot and that was how he made the money to buy his first bike. He then became a teacher assistant in regular religious school, worked in a bike shop, and in a natural foods store. My older son also babysat, worked at Rite Aid (hated that) and at a cafe (where Marni was the manager!). He continued working at the cafe through his first year in college, on breaks. He then got a part time job at a cafe in Amherst, where he basically sliced meat, listened to music, and made a lot of lattes. He quit working in last semester, came home and did an internship during winter session and they offered him a job as soon as he graduated. He has been employed in the same field since. As one of his friends told me, he and his wife are the only "grown-ups" in their age group. They own a house, have decent jobs, and are financially responsible at age 30. Both of them have had their share of menial jobs.
My kids were the only ones of their friends who worked in HS. Everyone else was doing stuff to bolster their academic resumes. I think, for my older son at least, the fact he had done several customer facing, lower level jobs, was a big help for him when he went out in the professional world. And i think for my younger son, being in the military will be a big boost when he gets his degree in economics that he will start working on this year.

[redrhodie]

I took a year off after high school. I wasn't motivated to go to college until I saw what working in a hospital cafeteria was like. Talk about motivating! I lasted 4 months at that job, but it inspired me to put together an awesome portfolio for art school, which I started the next fall.

I know I wouldn't have had as great a college experience if I hadn't taken that year off. Seeing what my options were without a degree was a real wake up call.

[malkin]

I'd strongly recommend that she spend some time becoming truly proficient in Spanish. Rudiments are dandy, but conversational fluency as well as writing skills are really an asset. The cool thing is that she can be doing something else, and it doesn't matter what, building houses or studying cooking or whatever and the language skills will grow naturally in that context.

[lph]

I vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Nothing wrong with studying on through, but much to be said for broadening your experiences when possible. If I'd had the chance again I'd go for Peace Corps work, or something like it. I still dream about working for Medecins Sans Frontieres someday.

[shootingstar]

vividly remember a student couple we knew who both stayed on the fast track and became doctors, through a very structured and rigid schedule with little time to pursue anything else. They came out the other end feeling as if they "had no idea how to be grown-up", as they put it. Granted, we all feel like that at some point, but at the time they were expected to take important decisions about other people's health and wellbeing, and felt totally out of their depth.

Honest, all my friends worked part-time or had summer jobs and some came from middle-class families. So I never had any university friends who didn't have already part-time work experience while they were still students. The sister who is a physician noticed a significant socio-economic gap between those like her who had worked part-time and same student-peers who had never worked in jobs during university. She found them more "air-headed". I do remember her giggling her head off at the impracticality of some her student-peers who were bright but clueless. I'm sure they learned ....

[OakLeaf]

I had summer and part-time jobs all through high school and college, but working full time, renting an apartment, paying bills, interacting with people, not being on an academic schedule, all these things were very different from living at home or in a dorm, subsisting mostly off financial aid and parental help, and only having to earn enough to supplement my tuition money and have a little to spend.

Two years wasn't too much time away that I had any difficulty getting back into the swing of studying. Another year or more might've been. But I think that spending that time working in a related field helped with that. As I said, I already knew the language, where most of my first-year classmates had to rack their brains just to do the reading.

[Crankin]

And this is why we "made" our kids work. They didn't have to. But, we wanted to foster independence and financial responsibility, just like our parents did. Well, my parents. DH's parents never did anything to help him, even when they could. But, we also made it clear that school was their first job and no working more than 15 hrs. a week while in school. When I was a high school teacher in AZ, I saw too many kids working 30 hours a week to pay for their car and insurance.
I wouldn't call my kids' friends who didn't work in school air headed. They are all very successful and responsible. They caught up quickly. Some are still in grad school/professional school, most after working for a few years. My older son is pretty adamant about the fact that he has made more business/professional connections through networking with his HS acquaintances/friends than most he met in college.

[tulip]

This has me thinking that maybe I need a gap year now. It's never too late...thanks for starting this discussion!