Reminders- age but different life choices

[indysteel]

As I mentioned upthread, DH is 12 years younger than me and we do not have, and do not want, children. I'm generally just fine with all of that, but the other day I awoke with this horrible thought in my head: Of my husband all alone after I am gone and he is old himself (assuming we both live to a ripe old age). He's an only child and while he has three really good friends from childhood, he is otherwise not the most social of people. He's not particularly close to the family that he does have. I'm not saying that I wish we had kids for this purpose--as that sounds like a really bad reason to have children--but it makes me sad that my DH might be alone as he ages. I'd worry less about that for myself because I'm much more apt to have built a support system outside of my marriage and family. Does anyone else without children have these thoughts (regardless of whether you're older or younger than your spouse)?

[GLC1968]

As I mentioned upthread, DH is 12 years younger than me and we do not have, and do not want, children. I'm generally just fine with all of that, but the other day I awoke with this horrible thought in my head: Of my husband all alone after I am gone and he is old himself (assuming we both live to a ripe old age). He's an only child and while he has three really good friends from childhood, he is otherwise not the most social of people. He's not particularly close to the family that he does have. I'm not saying that I wish we had kids for this purpose--as that sounds like a really bad reason to have children--but it makes me sad that my DH might be alone as he ages. I'd worry less about that for myself because I'm much more apt to have built a support system outside of my marriage and family. Does anyone else without children have these thoughts (regardless of whether you're older or younger than your spouse)?

Yes. All the time. My husband sounds very similar to yours in many ways. Mine doesn't even have any family left (he was also an only child) and while my family loves him and would want to stay close to him, he wouldn't likely stay in touch without me around.

I agree, not a good reason to have kids (nor is the fact that my parents would be AWESOME grandparents!).

[indysteel]

I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking/worrying about this. I was starting to feel neurotic.

One thing I will say is that neither set of our parents would make good grandparents, so no unborn child is missing anything there.

[shootingstar]

I'm not saying that I wish we had kids for this purpose--as that sounds like a really bad reason to have children--but it makes me sad that my DH might be alone as he ages.

Still having children is no guarantee they will visit an elderly parent or pay attention much/at all. This most definitely would be heartbreaking to any parent.

What is important to me, since I chose not to have children (he has 2 from a previous marriage), is comfort/knowledge that I have several blood/family relatives younger than my generation which we know one another over the years. This is important to my own sense that I exist connected (no matter how tenuous) directly to a network of family members. I'm sure there are some who are/end up all alone as an only, child-free individual..no nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and all parents/grandparents no longer living. I do know someone who became like this in their early 50's....which is early.

But she is a socialable person who seems to attract alot of goodwilled friends, etc. A great trait.