Quote Originally Posted by indysteel View Post
DH is twelve years my junior. I'm not sure why, but most people seem more comfortable with the idea of a younger woman marrying a younger man, so I often brace myself for a negative reaction. For us, it was obviously crucial that neither of us wanted children. I will admit to some unease with the age difference as I worry about what the future will hold for us as I age well in advance of him. It is an added incentive to stay active and healty--to the extent I can control such things. Sometimes my body doesn't want to cooperate and tha'ts frustrating. I do know that I already have a leg up on many of my peers in terms of fitness, and my attitude about aging and retirement is important, too.
Indy, I just wanted to comment that my mother is 12 years older than my step-father, and they have been married 25 years now, so they faced many of the things you are facing and thinking about. My mother turned down his proposals for years before she finally said "yes", because she did not want to be this older woman married to a younger man. Finally, though, she did say yes. She had two children from her previous marriage, and he had never been married before, so she needed to make very sure he would never want children of his own. Fortunately, he said he didn't and was true to his word. He's been a wonderful step-father to my brother and me all these years.

One kind of funny thing is that my DH is older than me so is only 7 years younger than my step-father, so they are great friends and peers more than "father-in-law/son-in-law". We have a very interesting blended multi-generational family!

Also, as they've both aged, my step-father is actually in poorer health than my mother, so you honestly can't tell that much difference in their ages based on how they look. He's put on weight, gone gray, etc. She is now about to turn 78, and he's about to turn 66, and their age difference looks a lot less than 12 years. And with her genes (my grandparents lived until 94 and 96!), she just might outlive him. Just goes to show that you never know!