((((Alexis)))). If you aren't already, have you ever considered talking to a therapist of some sort? I struggled with similar feelings for a long time, and it was definitely one of the bigger issues that my long-time therapist and I eventually tackled. Part of it is that I had to work long and hard at changing certain of my internal dialogues. I also had to work to find the types of people and activities that would fulfill me. For far too long, I beat myself up and felt estranged because most of my then-friends' social lives revolved around hitting the town and, to some extent, drinking. Those were things that made me feel exceedingly uncomfortable. It wasn't until I changed my social circles to include ygoa, cycling, and other physical pursuits that I found a social life more in keeping with my goals and interests. Anyway, I'd encourage you to talk to a professional if you're open to that.