I haven't read through all the replies, but I would certainly start trying different saddles. What works for one often doesn't work for another. Some people think they are not a cutout person, and then find a cutout saddle that magically works for them, and visa versa. There are so many variations to cutout saddles. My first one had a very thin cut out and I was definitely "squished" all the time. I tried another with a much wider cutout that I thought I liked at first, but DH and I decided that the edge of the cut out was so sharp that it caused different issues than my first.

We both ended up liking the San Marco Mantra. (Very odd, indeed, to have the same saddle as your husband!) It has a very large cutout and the edge of the cutout is softened more than the previous one that was similar.

Just know that while there are some saddles labeled women specific, the fact that they have a pink flower and a feminine name does not necessarily mean they only work for women, or more importantly that a "men's" saddle doesn't work for women. According to my LBS, saddles are saddles and work for both men and women. The one my husband and I use is not a men's saddle and it is not a women's saddle. It is just a saddle. Some maker make women's versions of their regular saddles, but there is nothing different about them other than the name and color. Sometimes they are a bit shorter in length, but that doesn't really change how it feels to sit on compared to the regular version.