Just for the record, my favourite pair of shorts is a mens style. I haven't quite figured out why, but it just... works.

I tend to stand a lot when I bike. I don't plan to, it just happens. And I can get some of that squashed, having to pee or numb feeling when touring or riding slowly with my family, simply because I spend much more time sitting than when I ride alone. Maybe it would help if you got up out of the saddle more?