I have a similar problem in that it seems like I am in a "no-man's land" level of sorts. I'm faster than most recreational riders but slower than a lot of the racers around here.

I have no problems going out on rides with people that are slower than I am. In fact sometimes I do it on purpose to recover mentally from the rides I do with the super fast fasties where I get my azz kicked. I really do feel like both types of riding are good for me. Those dialed back days are relaxed and fun. I regain my confidence and I finished refreshed. The other days challenge me, which helps me learn and improve but also leaves me very tired and drained.

This weekend I did the Trek Women's Dirt Series camp and I was very excited to find a lot of other women there with a similar skill level to mine!! We all had slightly different strengths and weaknesses but overall we were very well matched. I had a lot of fun, learned tons and felt like the atmosphere was very supportive. Is there a mtn bike skills camp that you can sign up for close to you? You would learn a lot and hopefully meet people at a similar skill level to ride with like I did.