I'm in the camp with a difficult mother. She was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive toward me growing up. It wasn't until I met DH I learned what a mother is - I have the BEST mother in law possible. For all the cutting remarks I get from my mother, my MIL is my cheerleader and friend. I can confide in her, ask advice, spend a pleasant afternoon together. Were I to confide in my mother, it would be turned against me in the worst possible way, probably announced to family. If I were to ask her advice, I would be ridiculed or picked apart, or even snapped at for asking.

Right now, I am still recovering from a 5 day visit with the parents. Still picking myself back up, finding my self esteem and my drive, and let go of the barbs that were sunk in while they were here. Badger, I know how hard it is. Nothing is ever good enough. You will never make her happy - and something DH has tried and tried to teach me is, it doesn't matter. What matters is if you are happy, and feel you are successful. Not her.