Empty Vessel

[madisongrrl]

(a) pumping up the tires, (b) replacing any flats,

Excellent...

(c) having the chain cleaned and relubed once a year,

This is something you are going to have to do more freqently depending on how often you ride. My mountain bike gets degreased and lubed after every off-road ride. If I've been just riding on the road, then maybe once a week. It certainly gets degreased and lubed before every race.

(d) replacing pedals and seats as required, (e) raising and lowering the seatpost and handlebars to taste, and (f) having the brakes adjusted annually

This is good...

. Do I need a shock pump? Do I need to put fluid in my hydraulic brakes. Help! What else don't I know that I don't know?

If you have a front suspension air shock, then you might want to buy a shock pump. They are around $40 give or take. You are going to want to set them to what the manufacturers specs say for your weight. If you recently bought this bike, maybe the bike shop would do it for free (then you could hold off on the shock pump for a while). If you have hydraulic brakes you are going to have to learn how to bleed the lines and maybe adjust the calipers.

Can someone give me a checklist and a maintenance schedule?

Like SadieKate said, read your manual. You might need to go beyond that though. You might want to go to specific manufactures websites and pull their instruction manuals for your suspension and brakes.

I recently bought a full suspension Trek Fuel EX 9 and it has more bells and whistles than I could imagine. The suspension has many complicated settings that I'm going to have to learn how to adjust. I have suspension remote on my handlebars....I can adjust both front and rear while I'm riding. Now that is crazy!