mother daughter relationships

[Catrin]

(((Badger))) this is a hard one to deal with, I've a difficult mother as well who is filled with anger and negativity - always has been. That negativity is draining which is one of the things that makes it so hard to deal with.

Congratulations on the new car, that is awesome! I really like the Jetta, it is a good car!

[shootingstar]

It was quite a change if your parents lived in Japan for 15 yrs. before returning to Canada.

As for some parents expecting some financial help later in life:

We have to, badger: my parents are low income. I don't begrudge small lumps of money for them: they spent alot of money raising 6 children. It has been genuinely from them, a personal and financial sacrifice for us. They were never parents who went off on expensive vacations for themselves, expensive clothes for themselves, etc.

Most likely we will have to sell their house, when end of life nursing care is required. They have no other substantive savings.

I give money to parents as a gift for their birthdays, Mother's and Father's Day. They need it. They spend it frugally.

My parents don't live with any of us (their children. Not yet.) So this is the least we can do for them and they can remain independent for longer on top of all this.
And they do give me (back) some money, which is ridiculous from my perspective since I am earning a reasonable salary. So I have told them only xxx amount of money or one of my favourite foods from mother ..it does feel like shunting some of the same money back and forth between myself and them. What the hey.

No point sweating the small stuff. Yup, my mother will be more like yours...asking to do certain things, etc. She can't drive (but she knows how to use local transit by herself.)