Quote Originally Posted by roo4 View Post
This seems like a marriage issue, not a bicycle issue. Do you have established guidelines for spending money on personal items? Start there.
I tend to agree with this. In the very least, I think you need to figure out what's really driving his grumbling. Is it purely a financial issue? If so, then I'd ditto the question posed above about your established guidelines on spending. Can you (and by "you" I mean your household) really afford a new bike? Of course, every couple has different attitudes about how they view their money. For instance, my husband and I have seperate accounts and our own jobs. Still, I don't see the money in my account as "mine" such that I can spend it freely. While we don't consult one another for every purchase, we do on larger items and even with smaller items, I'm always aware of their impact on our overall financial picture.

Is it a relationship issue, i.e., is he threatened by your cycling in some way? Does he feel left out or abandoned? Are you changing in ways that make him feel insecure about his own body or athleticism? If that's really what's driving his reaction, then I think you'd be better off addressing that first and foremost--because with our without a new bike, that's just going to continue to fester.

If it's just that he doesn't understand bikes, then I think you need to be honest with yourself, first, about what's really driving your bike lust. Have you truly outgrown your bike? Are the components of such a lower quality that they're not functioning properly? Is the bike too heavy for your needs or does it not fit properly? If you just want a new, nicer bike (and trust me, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that), then I think you need to be frank about that with your husband. I really hate when somebody tells me that they need something when in reality they just want it. I'd rather they were straight up about it.

If we're talking purely about want, I think should emphasize with your husband that riding makes you happy and that upgrading your bike from time to time is a fairly natural progression for cycling enthusiasts. Establish a budget and make darn certain that your new bike is really going to be the bomb. Assuming you don't otherwise indulge your every want, then hopefully you will ultimately get his support. If he's still resistent, then I tend to think it circles back to being a relationship or financial issue.