I had a horrible peri-menopause, starting at about age 38 and then my periods stopped at age 48. I was happy.
I had no symptoms for a year. Then I had hot flashes, some bad, but only maybe 3-4 a day. This was right at the time I started riding. I exercised before, but something about being outside helped me. I didn't gain weight, or have terrible insomnia, but all of my little medical things got worse. I just kept a water bottle on my desk when I was teaching and drank liberally when a flash came. That seemed to stop it. They went on for 5 years, some of it prolonged by a medication I was taking for osteoporosis. The only symptom I had that really bugged me was the vaginal dryness and I got an E-string for that. I would have had the osteoporosis anyway, as it runs in my family, and I took several meds that probably made it worse. I had signs of it in my early forties.
Since I had horrible reactions to birth control pills, such as pains in my legs and chest, I knew I would never take HRT. It scares me. I think diet can help, and avoiding chemicals, etc is always good, but "natural" things aren't always a panacea. And, I would be careful in investing in supplements or things that are not research based.
I would add that you might want to try acupuncture. I tried it when nothing was helping me with a wide array of medical symptoms that was diagnosed as fibromyalgia, but I am not really sure it is (was). I definitely have auto-immune stuff, so I was desperate. While I can't definitely say it was acupuncture that worked, because I was doing a lot of other things like yoga, meditation, therapy, I kept seeing the acupuncturist for a long time. Some of them specialize in women's issues; it might be worth a try.