End-of-Life Pet Choices

[GLC1968]

I had almost the exact same situation a few years ago with my older dog. She was dying of lymphoma, had already had a few seizures and was clearly not her old self at all. We had her on various steroids and each one seemed to make her feel so much better that I kept feeling like she was improving. Then, as she got used to the meds, she's start to degrade again.

Her last seizure happened when I was there about to leave for work. I freaked out, rushed her to the vet and they told me that it was the beginning of the end but that she was in no pain and was not uncomfortable. They also told me that she was completely unaware of having had a seizure which was good since I totally freaked out on her as it was happening.

I knew we were leaving the following weekend for a 4 day camping trip. I arranged for her to be boarded at the vet, but even then, they aren't with them 24-7. I just couldn't accept the possibility that she could die alone in an unfamiliar cage. We had her put down a couple of days before we were schedules to leave (one day after that last seizure).

To this day, I question my decision. Even as I type this, I can't help but think that I should have cancelled the trip to stay home with her. But at the time, we just knew she was on her way and I kept trying to think of if as letting her go. Had I not been pumping her full of steroids, she probably would already have been gone. Before we started the first round, she could not even stand to go outside - we had to carry her. This was no minor problem and yet, I still question our decision and my motives.

[spokewench]

It is probably what you can deal with now. I had a 20 year old cat and he was urinary incontinent for a long time before he went to the rainbow bridge. He had a wet bottom a lot and I washed him in the bathtub regularly so that he would not get too sore from the urine. I would just was his behind area and his legs where the urine would concentrate. He did not fight it as I think it soothed him.

I washed I don't know how many towels every day as wherever he slept would get wet; I also bought those doggie piddle pads and put those under the towels so that the furniture or wherever he layed did not get ruined. I did give him a cat box in the house on the same floor as he was but I did not have trouble with multiple cats. He still tried to use the catbox until he was ready to go.

He finally got really weak in the last week, lost his hearing, and did not eat much. He finally stopped eating and one morning he did not get up out of his bed in front of the fireplace at all so he finally said that he was ready to go. He was very sweet and did not want to give up - he was a very happy kitty.

When we left to go somewhere, I had a very good friend who loves kitties who would take care of him as if he were her own. So, if you can keep your kitty at home and get someone to come in and stay with him/her while you are gone or at least spend a lot of time with him/her, that would probably be best. The boarding is really hard on them when they are old.

[bmccasland]

When BonnieKat was still around, I'd board her and Herald at the vet - she was hyperthyroid (meds 2x daily) and Herald was insulin dependant diabetic. They both had their favorite vet techs twisted around their little paws. When I lived in Louisiana, the vet had a boarding facility ("spa") so the kitties shared a "condo", were not in a steal cage.

Zoom-zoom, I was where you were, wondering "when is it time." Got to where I fought with Bonnie to eat, force fed her on occasion. She got scary skinny. I talked to her vet, fretted here, but when getting her to eat got to be a real challenge; she'd cry for food, but the bowl was right by her; we decided it was time. I'd watch Bonnie sleep, just to see if she was still breathing, sometimes wishing that she'd just pass away so I wouldn't have to make the decision.

I hate to say it, but you might be there for your beloved Lola. Something to consider, that her vet asked me: Does she have more bad days than good days?

There's no point continuing the battle when the bad days far out number the good days, especially when every day is a struggle, and because of age, you know they aren't going to get better.

I feel for you. Can only offer zen hugs. I know this is a painful decision.

[zoom-zoom]

I'd watch Bonnie sleep, just to see if she was still breathing, sometimes wishing that she'd just pass away so I wouldn't have to make the decision.

I hate to say it, but you might be there for your beloved Lola. Something to consider, that her vet asked me: Does she have more bad days than good days?

There's no point continuing the battle when the bad days far out number the good days, especially when every day is a struggle, and because of age, you know they aren't going to get better.

We always wish that all our kitties would simply go in their sleep. Heck, I have that wish for myself, personally.

Hmmm...bad days vs. good. In the past week she had more bad days, but that was mostly the side-effects of the antibiotics. Since she stopped those the only "bad" is the incontinence issue, which actually doesn't seem to bother her all that much (and since we have wood floors it's not really a major issue for us, either...we just have to watch for wet spots and wipe them up). She mostly sleeps, but that's the story of all of our cats' lives much beyond age 5. Lazy beasts, they are.

Ugh, being a furbaby mom is hard.

[westtexas]

Zoom, I understand what you are going through - from my own dealings with beloved, elderly pets, to those clients of mine I counsel and help everyday.

Here is what I have my clients do that are starting to think of end of life issues:

Make a list of the 5 things that you think bring your pet comfort or quality of life. It can be as simple as being interested in food or a favorite place to sleep or coming to the door when you get home (a little more tricksy in kitties since they are so secretive about their favorite things sometimes).

Then decide how many things on this Quality of Life list must be gone before you euthanize. And one thing on the list can carry more weight than others. That way, when you get to the point that those 2 or 3 things are off the Top 5 list - the decision is made for you and there isn't any wavering because you have already made this decision at a time when emotion wasn't a factor.

I had my mom do this when our elderly corgi got sick and we knew "that day" would come. She still thanks me for it to this day - she was torn on whether to treat Penny's condition (acute on chronic renal failure) or whether to let her go and she looked at this list and decision was made, because she knew ahead of time that she had already made the rational choice when she could think clearly and was not a blubbering mess talking to me on the phone.

I hope that helps. If you need anything else, let me know.

[zoom-zoom]

That is really brilliant. I was hoping you'd have some words of wisdom. Thank you!

[tzvia]

Oh, Zoom-zoom...

I had to say goodbye to my wonderful 14 year old Lab Kelev just last Thursday. Spinal degeneration; he was becoming a paraplegic right before our eyes. The last few months were brutal; it tore my heart out. At first I could not comprehend for a moment that I would have to make a decision, I wanted him to curl up in his favorite spot on the rug in front of the front door one night and just not wake up. Instead, he could not get up and cried and I spent a terrible last Wednesday night getting up every hour or so to lift him up and clean up the mess. He was shaking and panting and I ended up just being with him and crying myself. By morning, I realized I had to say goodbye. His quality of life was gone.

Your situation seems harder; your kitty does not seem to be upset, scared, in pain, unable to eat. Maybe sick from antibiotics (heck they make me sick too), and I understand the pee issue all too well as my Kelev had started to crap whenever he fell or could not get up. Maybe you could leave an old towel on the floor for her to use near where the laundry is, and put the laundry in a closed container to keep it out of reach. I'm thinking that, as you mentioned, a litter box there would invite the other cats to use and track the litter all over, but a towel would only be inviting to her (I hope). As for being out for the wedding, if you feel it is not her time, boarding would be the best choice and the Vet would be the best place.

At some point the piddle issues may have you revisit the end-of-life choice, and it's a tough decision to make. westtexas is right, the emotions get in the way and it is best to have some yardstick to measure their quality of life. For me, Kelev had to be able to lie down and get up, and walk. He was happy, in no pain, ate like a pig and smiled last Wednesday afternoon. But when he could only cry and lift his chest on wobbly front legs Wednesday night, it was time.

[goldfinch]

Animals are not like us in that they have no concept of the future. They live fully in the present. My inclination is that when an animal is approaching the end we do not need to "time" things just right. They are not thinking about tomorrow and are not trying to squeeze the last bit out of life as we humans often want to do. Cats often are very place bonded. I question whether it makes sense to board the cat down that she so old and has so many issues. I think you can let her go without guilt.

I understand the difficulty, we struggled with this with two of our dogs. Our current dog is 16 and deaf and crabby. Someday I may very well have to make the decision for her too.

[zoom-zoom]

He finally got really weak in the last week, lost his hearing, and did not eat much. He finally stopped eating and one morning he did not get up out of his bed in front of the fireplace at all so he finally said that he was ready to go. He was very sweet and did not want to give up - he was a very happy kitty.

See...that makes me think it's maybe not yet her time to go. She's still eating well and is alert and is still reasonably strong and able to get around (when we had to give her antibiotics last week she would see us put the "kitty burrito" towel on the floor and take off as fast as she could to get away) and onto our bed and up on our computer desks by using our chairs or cat tower to make her way up. Or even onto the kitchen counters if we leave the dishwasher door down. She's certainly still far from physically disabled, at this stage. We're pretty sure she's stone deaf, but she's equivalent to a 90+ year old, so deafness is to be expected.

We have given her a couple of lower-body baths in the past week and she really doesn't struggle. I think she also likes the warm water. Even as a young cat she was fascinated by the shower, so she tolerates it a lot better than most cats, I expect.

Our vet has yet to suggest that it's nearing her time. She had blood work done 4 months ago to check her thyroid and they also checked her kidney levels and those all looked good...no signs of kidney failure, which is the most common reason for cats to succumb to old age.