reading about kelev and thinking of my dog.

[smilingcat]

It never is a good time.

I wrote this on another forum back on Apr. 12

Our golden retriever is 14 years old. Really old for the breed. He is sleeping by my feet right now dreaming of sweet dreams. Kicking his feet as if running and chasing a bunny perhaps.

We had a scare on Sunday. Non-responsive mostly, didn't lift his head, couldn't get him to eat nor get him to drink water. By evening, we did manage to get him to drink water. Monday, he was bit more alert, he ate and drank. Having difficulty getting up even when his weight was being taken up in a sling. He just needed to dangle his feet on the ground and having difficulty even with that.

Tuesday and Wednesday, he showed more improvement. This morning, he started to develop a hot spot on his face, a common problem for a purebred golden. Rushed him to the vet to head off a serious hot spots from developing and went over the detail of Sunday through today. Blood test, urine test, and his general being discussed.

Most likely he has cancer of the spleen. The Sunday episode may have been due to "minor" bleeding from the cancer. It's hard to keep information straight so I may have this wrong. Prognosis is pretty poor. At his age, we have no plans on surgery. What is the point.

We are giving him pain meds, topical steroids and anti-biotic for his hot spot on his face. And few other meds.

14 years have come and gone pretty fast. I remember when my partner brought him home. Being potty trained. peeing as he was carried and rushed out of the house to show where to pee. You should have seen his face then. Running underneath the coffee table to play tag with his older brother. All the memorable Christmas, ripping open his presents and toys. To when he helped himself to kitty chow. You should have seen his big big cute grin. So cute I couldn't get mad at him.

Now days, he just sleeps. Gets bit apprehensive when he can't see me. Well he is nearly blind, mostly deaf too. Lately, I have to put my hand in front of his sniffer so he could smell me. And yesterday, I had splash my finger in his water bowl because he didn't know if it had water in it or not. Or maybe he forgot what he was supposed to do.

I'll keep him comfortable and happy for the few days, weeks he has left. Time like this, I'm glad I'm retired.

Dear Madison, you are very special to me. You are the first dog I have known from a 8 or was it 10, 12 week old puppy to your old age. And you for whatever reason, you decided early on that I belong to you. For touching my heart like that, how can I not love you. Your mom loves you very much.

I just want you to be comfortable.

Well, Madison is still with us. We have had 3 major scares since April 12.
He crashed again yesterday. So we made an appointment for
vitamin B12 shot to help him out. And today, the shot seemed to have helped him for few hours. But now, he is just sleeping and sleeping soundly. I don't think he is in pain. He wasn't as excited about his doggie treat tonight though. Maybe he just wants to sleep.

I miss his excitement over his doggie treat. I never thought I would miss this antic but I do. It's all BARK! BARK BARK! until he gets his treat. Tonight, he just lifted his head up just high enough to grab his treat. Crumbs are still on the floor underneath his chin. He looks comfortable in his sleep. At least that is what I think. I hope Madison is dreaming a wonderful dream.

from Diamond Rio

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you

[maillotpois]

Beautiful. Healing hugs to you, Madison and patner.

Our boy is 12. With lymphoma. Any days are good now.

[Selkie]

Golden retriever = Pure Love.

Fourteen years is ancient for a golden! Madison sounds like a special soul. Like MP, me and my three goldens send Madison-pooper, you and your partner big healing honeybear hugs. Please give him a smooch for me and a head massage.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((smilingcat, maillotpois & puppydogs))))))) Keeping you all in my thoughts.

[beccaB]

I'm gonna go spend some time with my dog.

[westtexas]

I'm gonna go spend some time with my dog.

This is always how I feel at the end of the work day. I feel so much for my clients - those with beloved pets who've lived practically forever and those sweet young ones that are going before their time. The first thing I do every day when I get home is hug and snuggle both my kitties (no dog anymore). I feel like if I can love them enough it makes up for all the hurting out there I see everyday.

[lovelygamer]

We had to put down our 11 year old boy about six months ago. I thought it would kill us both. Seriously. We spent almost two thousand dollars on blood transfusions and other medicines, procedures, etc. He was on a cocktail of eight medicines the last two weeks of his life and he wasn't eating. In the end, he just didn't have the strength or will to survive and we couldn't see him improving.

If you HAVE to make that decision, consider getting a vet to come to your house. It's a world of difference. I've been in that situation in a number of different places (Humane Society, Vets office) and nothing compares. It felt better to us to have him at home, on his blanket just like he always was but it was still so very hard.

There is nothing comparable to the affection our animals give us. Love him while you can - he knows your there and he knows how much you care. <3 Thinking of you and sending peaceful thoughts you way.

[Veronica]

I am a horrible person. I always read the posts about losing beloved babies, but I can never seem to respond; they make me so sad. And I just don't know what to say. Words just seem so useless and trite. Then I go find my cat babies and bug them.

It just doesn't seem right that their lives are so short. Time to go bug the babies.

Veronica

[maillotpois]

If you HAVE to make that decision, consider getting a vet to come to your house. It's a world of difference. I've been in that situation in a number of different places (Humane Society, Vets office) and nothing compares. It felt better to us to have him at home, on his blanket just like he always was but it was still so very hard.

This was what I did with my 11 year old Rottie 10 years ago. It was very peaceful.

[maillotpois]

I am a horrible person. I always read the posts about losing beloved babies, but I can never seem to respond; they make me so sad. And I just don't know what to say. Words just seem so useless and trite. Then I go find my cat babies and bug them.

That's usually me as well.

[Veronica]

Thinking about the pets I've lost can put me into a real funk and makes me wonder, why do I have pets because losing them is so awful. But then I just watched Tucker stalking a pair of morning doves on the fence outside. He got as far as the window over the tub and they flew away. Yes, he's inside and they're outside, but he still has to "hunt." And those wonderful little silly things are the why. I love putting my ear to Cassie's belly while she sleeps because she purrs and at night she snoozes between my legs, but won't stay in a lap during the day.

So enjoy and cherish all those moments with your "babies."

Veronica

[indysteel]

I am a horrible person. I always read the posts about losing beloved babies, but I can never seem to respond; they make me so sad. And I just don't know what to say. Words just seem so useless and trite. Then I go find my cat babies and bug them.

It just doesn't seem right that their lives are so short. Time to go bug the babies.

Veronica

I used to feel that way. Then I posted about losing my cat, Sophie, two years ago and all the virtual hugs that I received from my fellow TEers brought me so much comfort. It didn't matter what they said; the mere fact that they responded to my grief meant a lot to me. So don't worry about what you say. It truly is the thought that counts.

I'll say this, too, V. You said something kind in my thread about the stray cat that we cared for last summer that got killed by a car. I read and reread that thread multiple times when I was feeling down about him. Your words made a difference to me.

Still, when I read pet-loss threads, I invariably get in a bit of a funk about my own pets--those I've already lost and those that are likely to go sooner rather than later. It's hard not to internalize all of that grief.

[smilingcat]

We all said our good bye to Madison today. He almost made it to 15 years of age. He had a wonderful life.

[indysteel]

((((smilingcat)))). I'm so sorry. I'm sure he did have a wonderful life and a long life for a lab for sure. Hugs to you.

[Blueberry]

((((((smiling cat)))))))

Goldens are special souls, and he lived a very long life for one (though much too short compared to human years).