The not-diet

[chatnoire]

How much weight does he want to lose? And for you, is it just a few lbs. or weight maintenance?

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What am I'm trying to say, is to develop more of a style of how to eat in a way that isn't obsessed on every food dish and its calorie count. (But you knew that already.) Combine it with cycling daily if you can.

I don't know the dynamics with your partner if his quest for greater fitness, losing weight has prompted things for you.

Hope other things in life are going well.

And yes, the older we need to get into a happy but "mindful" eating style since our metabolism does slow down a bit.

For me, it was just a few pounds (20) to drop, his goal was to drop about 60. And of course, due to size difference, he still gets to eat 3x the calories I do, it seems like!

I've never been huge, but I started grad school full time in the fall, and that led to a lot of "i'm too tired to cook, lets order pizza" nights, which didn't help. We do try to get out 2-3 x a week for bike riding, and I track what I'm eating my My Fitness Pal, for the most part. I've been a vegetarian for 20+ years, so eating has always been a challenge (because I'm also allergic to peanuts, so the primary source of easy protein is pretty much out for me!)

It's definitely got something to do with getting older, too. *sigh* I see it my face, I see it in my hips, lol. I'm trying to transition away from the weight loss focus now to the muscle building/performance eating, to build lean muscle. I was a ballerina for 12 years, though, so I am used to seeing myself as long and lean, not dumpy and potbellied like I am now.

[tulip]

I've come to the conclusion that I simply do not have to tell anyone about how I eat. I'll let my actions speak, rather than making an announcement. Announcements lead to questions and judgments, and all kinds of bother. I'd rather just eat the way I want to without having to justify anything.

[GLC1968]

I've come to the conclusion that I simply do not have to tell anyone about how I eat. I'll let my actions speak, rather than making an announcement. Announcements lead to questions and judgments, and all kinds of bother. I'd rather just eat the way I want to without having to justify anything.

Well yeah, that's true. I don't announce anything either...but man, they sure do ask! I've found that it's a very rare person who won't ask about my 'diet' when I order fajitas without tortillas, rice or beans.

I'd like to eat the way I want without having to justify anything too, but it doesn't always work out that way. People are curious folk.

[limewave]

People are curious folk.

Totally off topic, but this comment reminded me of this: Mr. Roger's Garden of the Mind video. lol.

[ny biker]

Well yeah, that's true. I don't announce anything either...but man, they sure do ask! I've found that it's a very rare person who won't ask about my 'diet' when I order fajitas without tortillas, rice or beans.

I'd like to eat the way I want without having to justify anything too, but it doesn't always work out that way. People are curious folk.

I would give a non-answer like, "I just prefer it this way," followed by "How 'bout those [local sports team]" to change the subject if needed.

[goldfinch]

I would give a non-answer like, "I just prefer it this way," followed by "How 'bout those [local sports team]" to change the subject if needed.

But that is tough; it feels like a slap when maybe a slap is a bit much. If I was with GLC and she ordered fajitas without the tortilla, beans or rice I might ask is she tended to follow a particular type of diet, like paleo or low carb, out of simple curiosity and to start a conversation. What people eat interests me.

On the other hand, I can understand how it would feel intrusive if people always were asking why you eat a certain way. Back in my working days one of our staff members would always bring food from home a reheat it. Her food always looked and smelled fabulous. I know I commented at least a couple of times when walking through the lunch room how great her food smelled or looked. I thought it as a complement. Other people may have been doing the same thing because she complained to the office manager about how people were commenting all the time about her food and it felt intrusive. I never said a thing again.

Tough to know what to say sometimes.

[ny biker]

But that is tough; it feels like a slap when maybe a slap is a bit much.

It's not a slap if you say it with a smile.

[shootingstar]

If someone asks me I'm vegetarian, I tell them no except I eat lean meat 3-4 times per month. That's the end of it. I don't choose to anticipate any remarks from the questioner and move on to other topics.

They ask me if I drink wine, I say yes but please only give a small amount (ie. mean less than 2-3 inches high in the glass). I might make a semi-joke that I get drunk very easily probably due to allergy or whatever to alcohol. Which I do.

I do occasionally tell people foods that I no longer eat...ie. white rice. which of course, I add without them asking: "I don't feel well anymore when I eat lot of it It raises my blood sugar." The conversation touches into my former diet, which I allow it, even welcome it...since people assume that white rice is healthy for everyone. But no, I've never had people think less of me. I don't defend and just move on to other topics.

But I've never gone to anyone's home with their food offering and declare: "I can't eat white rice." I can still eat it, just alot less of it.

To me it's less of an issue probably because I hang out with people who are used to differences in food choices, etc. and aren't really that interested in much of an explanation anyway. They really don't care (nor really care to hear much of one's reasons). Even the people who I work with who I barely know.

[GLC1968]

Yeah, food choices can be a sensitive subject. Basically, I just try to say as little as possible unless some asks specific questions. In the case of the fajitas, it's pretty weird, so I'd actually be more likely to order something less odd if I were dining with people who didn't already know my diet choice. A salad, hold the croutons, is decidedly less attention grabbing!

I will say that if a coworker was always telling me how yummy my food smelled, I would be flattered, not offended!

[tulip]

Order the fajitas and just don't eat the beans or rice or tortillas. No one will notice. If the do, say you don't care for them. Works for me, it really does.