Know any women living close to 100 yrs.?

[GLC1968]

On my father's side, most family members died young except for one uncle who lived to be 102. He lived in three centuries as he was born in 1899 and died in 2001! He was physically pretty useless his last decade or so, but he was as sharp as a tack mentally until the day he died.

My dad also has an aunt who is well into her 90's as well. Still living on her own and going strong. She amazes me.

My mom's family tends to live into their 80's - all of them (men and women) but then no further. They all also mostly died quietly in their sleep.

I guess that gives me a lottery of sorts. From my dad, I could die young or live to be over 100 or from my mom, I'll live into my 80's and die in my sleep. Weird, huh?

[Owlie]

My great-grandmother had a stroke in her 70s, but was pretty functional until she died at 92. My grandmother (same side of the family) is 95, but has dementia. On my dad's side, my grandfather died relatively young (heart issues--he had his first heart attack at the age of 40). My dad's mom, however, is still sharp and upbeat, and lives by herself, despite having had both knees and both hips replaced due to severe OA. She is the "last man standing" out of her siblings, and she's watching her sister-in-law slide into dementia. I don't know how she does it.

[Aggie_Ama]

My Mammaw died 3/23/12 at the age of 94. Her last 10 years she had very declining mobility although she had been active her whole life. She wasn't active as in a runner or cyclist, she worked and didn't know any other way. When I was growing up she tended a large garden (about 1/2 an acre), cooked, cleaned, took care of up to 5 grandkids at a time, did most house repairs that were minor, was rescuing various animals, etc... I am thankful only her last month or two her mind started to lose sharpness, mostly due to pain from her failing body and the meds to manage that. Otherwise even after a major stroke she would do crosswords in pen, read several books a week, crochet and tell so many wonderful stories.

However, I wouldn't want to be like her. The most painful thing she ever said was last fall when I was sitting with her "I am not sure what hurts more, the pain or knowing how much I am unable to do I used to be able to do." It was a struggle to move from her chair to her back porch to watch the birds and squirrels she adored. After about 85 she gradually got worse and worse physically and it really made her unhappy.

[OakLeaf]

Everyone over 70 with whom I've been close enough to have the conversation - everyone, both relatives and friends, people from all walks of life, the sole exception being my mother who can manage to find the bright side of the most horrific situations, and even she has been faltering lately - every single other one of them has told me "don't get old." Usually in those exact words. At 52, I'm at the age where I'm very much inclined to take their advice.

I think a lot of people refuse to admit to themselves that they don't have a choice about whether or not they're going to die. Once you admit you don't get to choose about that, you realize you do have a great deal of choice about how and when.

[Kiwi Stoker]

I spent the last two years living with DH's 93 year old grandmother in Singapore.

She has dementia and her memory was her pride and joy, so losing it is very distressing to her. Her behaviour had significatly changed as well, having tantrums etc like a child.

She simply sat at home all day. She doesn't want to go to church as it is too hard and none of her friends attend (they are often ill). She has stopped going out for dinner with her children's families. She hates having to use the wheelchair, but has to as she cannot walk too far- another reason for her not to go out.

She would tell DH that everyday she prayed to God to take her soon. She also talked about jumping out the apartment window (20 floors) as she has had another. Her latest tactic is stopping all her medication and not going to see a doctor.

I have since stopped living with her last year- it was too hard and we needed to go back to our own country. It is really horrible to live with someone who feels like this and you cannot help agree with her. Her quality of life is very low. And she wants to go as well. She's lived too long.

[GLC1968]

Everyone over 70 with whom I've been close enough to have the conversation - everyone, both relatives and friends, people from all walks of life, the sole exception being my mother who can manage to find the bright side of the most horrific situations, and even she has been faltering lately - every single other one of them has told me "don't get old." Usually in those exact words. At 52, I'm at the age where I'm very much inclined to take their advice.

Wow, that strikes me as very sad. Are they just not dealing with how life has changed for them, or is it really that bad?

Both of my parents are now over 70 and they both enjoy life more every day. They get a tad sad/depressed when then think about friends they have lost, but for the most part, they are very happy with the progression of their lives. And trust me, neither of them would be considered overly optimistic. Maybe it's because they still have each other?

[Crankin]

I agree, GLC. One of the reasons I stopped seeing my aunt (among many others) was her constant refrain of "old age ain't for sissies." Now she is only 75, and this was 5-10 years ago. She has normal degenerative things, mostly from her own lifestyle. My own mom, who lived in pain for the last 10 years of her life and had an unsuccessful liver transplant at age 66 *never* spoke like that. She was positive until the end.
I know I'm going to die... I just don't want to . Most of the people in my family live to a very ripe old age and they were not in that bad of shape compared to a lot of people. They had good lives and money and they just were pessimistic about everything. Of course, they were like this before they were old, so I guess it's not shocking.

[goldfinch]

My mother died of a heart attack at age 39. She did not abuse herself.
My mother's mother died of cancer in her early 70s.
My other grandmother died of cancer in her 40s.
My only blood aunt died of heart disease in her 60s.
A female cousin who is in her 60s just had a bypass.

Meh.

[lovelygamer]

Everyone over 70 with whom I've been close enough to have the conversation - everyone, both relatives and friends, people from all walks of life, the sole exception being my mother who can manage to find the bright side of the most horrific situations, and even she has been faltering lately - every single other one of them has told me "don't get old." Usually in those exact words. At 52, I'm at the age where I'm very much inclined to take their advice.

I think a lot of people refuse to admit to themselves that they don't have a choice about whether or not they're going to die. Once you admit you don't get to choose about that, you realize you do have a great deal of choice about how and when.

Yep. This sounds like my experience. In their 60's people start complaining about the quality of life...especially here in the USA. I think other countries are different-especially countries where people work to live and not live to work. Those with better healthcare systems and better family policies at work seem to allow people to age more gracefully and with a better quality of life but here in America? It's hell to be old and unhealthy. Sometimes, it's just hell to be old.

I pray this doesn't happen to me. I did have one set of grandparents who aged well until 67 years of marriage. The last two years of their lives were hell and both died at 90. Thankfully, I was able to be with them through it all. I miss them and their positive attitude so much.

It's really great to see so many people have positive stories about older age.

[shootingstar]

In their 60's people start complaining about the quality of life...especially here in the USA. I think other countries are different-especially countries where people work to live and not live to work. Those with better healthcare systems and better family policies at work seem to allow people to age more gracefully and with a better quality of life but here in America? It's hell to be old and unhealthy. Sometimes, it's just hell to be old.

Certainly one's own health is critical to "quality of life". My father has cancer (@83). If we were under the U.S. health care system, I doubt very much he would get the level of oncology specialist care that he is getting now and quickly/frequently: he was a restaurant cook before retiring @65 and no top-up private health care insurance by his employer. (One rarely gets that anyway working in the restaurant business).

It wouldn't be surprising how some people might find it easier not to follow healthier habits especially if they have significant preventable health problems: why bother and suffer @90-100 yrs.?

But I would disagree vehemently and my father is living proof that yes, you could suffer from a terminal disease but at least he has no other health problems to complicate the cancer. (No heart, respiratory problems...because his diet has been healthy all along.)

Most definitely a person does NOT want fall into habits that lead into multiple major health problems simultaneously in very old age. Then suffering is greatly compounded.

[Crankin]

I guess this why people are always amazed @ what I do. I am getting pretty close to the age of those complaining 60 year olds.

[murielalex]

My maternal grandmother lived to 94, and was sharp and happy, not sick or even very weak, living in her own apartment, until the day she passed, which was a peaceful passing one day after a family reunion. I would consider myself a lucky woman if I lived as life half as full with love as she had in her last years.

[emily_in_nc]

I have two great-grandmothers who lived until 96 or 97, both on my mother's side. My maternal grandmother lived until 94 and my maternal grandfather until 96 (unfortunately with dementia, the last four years or so were very sad for him). My father's side was more typical, with his father very sick and dying in his late 60s, I believe, and his mother dying at 82 of heart issues. My father died at 71 in a car accident, and my mom is still doing great at 77 (no big surprise, given her genetics!)

I would like to live as long as I am healthy and would love to make it to 100, but we shall see. I am much more dreading losing my DH, who is 7.5 years older than me and comes from a less long-lived line (tho both his parents are still doing rather well in their 80s) than I am dreading dying myself.

My maternal grandparents used to argue about who was supposed to "go" first. It was supposed to be my grandfather, since he knew he couldn't survive without my grandmother. Unfortunately, it was the other way around, and he literally could not live without her. He did live for 3.5 years after she died, but the quality of his life after he lost her (they'd been married over 60 years) was not good.

[eofelis]

My mother's mother died at 99.5 yrs. She was lived at home (with one of her sons) until a few months before she died. She was hard of hearing for the last few decades of her life, but still sharp. She fell and injured her shoulder and had to be moved into a rehab home. She died a couple months later. We think she died because the Red Sox were on strike. No reason to live. She was a fan.

My mom is 82 and still very active, living on her own, driving, travelling, and going places with her friends.

I'm not sure if I can afford to live that long nowadays.

[jyyanks]

My aunt is 94 and lives in a huge house (but has a live-in). Her health is declining slightly but she is sharp as a tack.

My dad is turning 88 in August and is somewhat active and very sharp and enjoys spending time with his family. Hoping both of them are blessed with more years to spend with us!